Thanksgiving Reflections

I have to say....this Thanksgiving was probably the best I've had in a long, long time.  The past 4 years have been full of so many ups and downs.....mostly downs...that it has been difficult to focus on the moment, the small things.  This year, heart was ready to be thankful.

I am thankful for this crazy crew of people...and the nerves that were shot just to take this picture! You wouldn't knowing it by looking at our smiling faces that we were saying, "Hurry up before we have a meltdown!" Sure enough, 2 snaps in, Collen and Charlotte both started crying.

This is the picture of joy! It doesn't get any better than a boy playing in the leaves.  I'm so thankful for his playful, innocent spirit and his wise old soul.  I'm also thankful for my brother-in-law for capturing this moment that will live in my heart forever.

His shirt says, "Everyone is thankful for me!"  We sure are, buddy.  After losing Ayden, this little boy brought so much joy and hope back into our lives. He is so special to us. I find myself staring at him sometimes....just in awe of him.

And this little sweetie-pie.  Oh, how she has fulfilled me.  I can't put a finger on it, but she has done something to me that I can't begin to describe.  Saying I love her doesn't even begin to put into words how I feel about her.  If I'm away from her too long, I feel like I'm losing myself.  She is so much a part of me, it's unreal.  She has brought so much completion, joy, and peace to our lives.  We didn't know it before, but she is what our family needed.  So thankful for her sweet, quiet nature and for the those smiles that just melt our hearts.

I had a moment to myself last night as I was eating some Thanksgiving leftovers.  We spent the night at my parents' house - the house I grew up in.  Whenever I'm home, it feels as if I never moved away.  I'm able to just fall back into step.  I love that house.  I love the memories that are there.  The memories are tough right now, though, as I miss my dad more than ever.  I sat down to eat in my usual spot - the big, comfy chair.  I looked up and glanced over to the couch to find it empty, and I found myself unable to come to grips with that seat...Daddy's seat...being empty.  I could see him sitting there, feet up (with black socks on them from being in his dressier clothes earlier in the day), in his pajama pants and white t-shirt, telling me, "Isn't there something better on than this?" (I was watching Twilight).  In that moment, I asked myself, "Will it ever feel normal?  For them not to be here....will ever feel like they're supposed to be gone?"  Nope...easy answer.  Here's the better question - do I want it to feel normal? Absolutely not.  I want to feel that longing and yes, even the pain.  That's what makes it real, and that's what keeps my focus on Heaven and not this world.  

Deep thoughts over turkey leftovers...

I have so much to be thankful for.  But more than anything, I'm thankful for HOPE and the promise of eternity given to me through my Lord, Jesus Christ.  Without Him, I would be nothing and have nothing to live for.

I hope you and yours enjoyed a wonderful holiday.  We have already decorated for Christmas and are ready to embrace the Christmas spirit.  :)  I love this time of year!

1 comment:

  1. I love your hair! It looks so pretty long :) Your babies are so adorable. When I was reading about how you feel about Charlotte, it stole my breath because I remember that same awe and complete feeling I felt when my daughter arrived. God is so good! I was blessed by your leftover turkey-thoughts. I hope you know that God is using you...Happy Thanksgiving!