still here....I promise.

Oh how I miss blogging. I promise to be better. I will post very soon!! I have some good material....just be patient with me!! Be on the post coming soon. In the meantime, I am keeping up with the blogs I read and keeping everyone close in thought and prayer.



Oh boy, 16 months is such a fun age! Collen has quite the personality, and he seems to do something new every single day!

We are loving watching his personality blossom. He is quite the social butterfly. He loves to say, "Hey!" to people and "Bye Bye" when they leave. He will repeat almost anything you try to get him to say. He is very verbal....really "talkative" - although it comes out as jibberish most of the time.

He is saying so many things:

"Melmo" - Elmo
Da Da
NaNa - which is banana and NaNa (Jeremy's mom)
Yuck - "uck"
Truck -"uck"
Sock - "ock"
Shoes - "oosh"
Octopus - "Pus"
Football - "butt-ball"
And all sorts of animal sounds!!

He says even more than these, but I can't remember them all!

I need to get some updated pictures on here for you guys to see. I take so many pictures on my phone...I really need to start using my camera again.

I am enjoying watching him learn and finding out what interests him. He still LOVES books. He now really enjoys puzzles and riding on his cars. He also enjoys his Sesame Street playset he got for Christmas. Anything that is hand-held, like a figurine or a toy car...he loves! He has also, just recently, become interested in coloring. He doesn't quite have the attention span for it, yet, but he will sit and color for a little while (supervised of course....we don't leave him unattended for very long at all!! He gets into mischief pretty easily!). He has also taken an interest in watching particular tv shows - namely Sesame Street/Elmo's World. He also enjoys the Winnie the Pooh movie and Curious George.

This week, we have noticed a huge change in his sleeping patterns. Over our Christmas break, he slept all night long... 8:30 - 6:30 in his crib, and then he would move over to our bed to finish out the last 2 hours. It was heavenly!! Now that we have gone back to work and back to our routine, he hasn't slept well at all. I don't know if it's the change in routine again (he slept fine with this routine before) or teething or a new phase of separation anxiety. Whatever it has us all exhausted. He is waking up at night (usually about 3 hours after we put him to bed) just screaming and inconsolable! We considered night terrors, but he is soothable once we hold him. But once we go to put him back in the crib, he's screeching and screaming so loud!! He sounds terrified!! And we don't have the heart to leave him in his crib crying like that. So, we let him sleep with us. We know this is bad practice, but we have to get some sleep!! This has gone on for the last week with no end in sight. Tonight, he wouldn't even go down as he normally does. I watched Jeremy (on the monitor) trying to lay him in the crib, and he just cried and cried. Eventually, Jeremy took the matress out of his crib and put it on the floor so he could lay next to him (I had almost done this the other night...). I'm watching now and it seems Jeremy has fallen asleep...haha. Anyway, I'm wondering if we should convert his crib to a bed and see how that goes. Since he likes our bed so much...I'm thinking it may make him feel more comfortable?

Never a dull moment, huh?

You Hold Me Now

Our worship team has been playing a new song lately. I remember hearing it, for the first time, over the summer. It caught me completely off guard, and I sobbed through the entire song. Jeremy didn't even have to see my face to know I was about to fall apart....and he ever-so-sweetly put his arm around me and held me through the song. The song is "You Hold Me Now" by Hillsong. It, like so many other songs about Heaven, obviously bring Ayden to mind. And dad. Worship, and music in general, was difficult for me after Ayden passed away because the words to each song had taken on a whole new meaning. I would look around at people singing wondering if they truly meant the words they were singing....did they really bless the name of the One who gives AND takes away? After Collen was born, worship became a little easier. Music had begun to ease back into my life, and I was able to sing and listen without breaking down so much. dad passed away. And the cycle started over again. It's not quite as hard as it was before, but worship still triggers the emotions...especially when I imagine my dad singing those full on I loved to see him. I miss watching my dad worship. I miss dad...period. And now, I have 3 things propelling me to Heaven - Christ, Ayden, and my Dad...and this song brings all of that to the surface. I love everything about this song, and I hope that one day I can actually sing it instead of sobbing through it.

Here are the lyrics:

On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace

All my fear is swept away
In the light of your embrace
When Your love is all I need
And forever I am free

Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven rise to you alone

No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now

In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails

When Your name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day

When the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven rise to you alone

No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness, no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now

For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name

No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now