Firsts and Lasts


273 comments
On Sunday, Ayden rolled over to his tummy for the first time! We were so proud of him. After he did it, he looked at me like, "Wow! I can't believe I just did that!" After that, he wanted to do it again and again. Such a smart boy.

Monday was a normal day. I dropped him off at day care, I went to work, I picked up, and the happy part of my day began. We talked and played and I made him laugh so loud that night. He slept, literally, right next to me most of the night. He gets restless while he is sleeping, and I wanted him close, I put him in the bed next to me, and as usual, he squirmed his way over right up against me. He never seemed to be able to get himself close enough. I just lay there and stroked his back, patted his butt, and gave him kisses. Sleep can wait.....I just wanted to cherish every second....as I did with every, single day.

Tuesday, normal morning. Dropped him off at day care, gave him a kiss, and told him I'd see him later. I hadn't been able to spend much time with him that morning because I was rushing around trying to get ready for the first day of school. He was his usual happy self, though. At about 10:30, I got a call from day care and I heard the words I never ever wanted to hear: Ayden had rolled to his stomach while he was sleeping and when she went to check on him, he was unresponsive. We later found out that his heart had stopped before the paramedics ever got there. I was told to go to the emergency room. When I got there, I was told that he was in the trauma bay and they were still working on him and that that was good because they were still trying to help him. They took my sister and I to a family room, and my friend Candi got there soon after that. Jeremy was still on his way. A chaplan was sent in. At that moment, I knew. Soon after, the Dr. came in. As soon as he knelt in front of me, I knew he was gone. I just kept saying, "No, no no no..." The Dr. was so compassionate. He cried as he told me that Ayden's heart had stopped and they couldn't get it back. He asked if I wanted to be with him when they stopped the chest compressions. I said yes. Jeremy still wasn't there. Megan and I went back....the Dr. holding my hand. Before we turned the corner, Jeremy ran up. I had to tell him that his son wasn't going to make it. Words I never in my life thought I'd have to utter. They took us in, and there he was. My sweet baby boy.... Surprisingly, I was not jolted by the tubes and sticky things all over him. I just saw my sweet, precious, innocent son and I hurt for him so badly. They let me hold him for as long as I wanted. I told them that I knew they couldn't let me hold him forever....so "as long as I wanted" was subjective. If was as if he was sleeping...like every night when I rocked him to sleep. I held out hope even then...that once he was in my arms...maybe his heart would miraculously come back. But he was just still...and peaceful. I wanted to see him smile...hear him laugh...and realized that the ones I saw and heard last night were the last I'd ever have.

There have been many, many tears shed. I don't know how many times I've asked the question, "Why?" or said, "I just don't understand." This is beyond my understanding. Why God needed my four month old is beyond anything I could ever begin to comprehend. I feel helpless, hopeless, devastated, numb, and I don't know where to go next. I don't want to go back to work and face everyone, but I don't want to stay at home all day either. I just want my baby back. I want him in my arms, where he should be. I want him snuggled up to me, as he should be. I want him smiling and laughing and playing, "Where's the baby" with me...as he should be. I shouldn't be planning a funeral for my child. The only solace I find in any of this is knowing that Ayden was spared all the ugly things of this world. He went ot Heaven knowing that his mommy and daddy loved him more than anything else in this world. He knew that he was safe, secure, sheltered, adored, and he loved us too. I'd give anything to see those big blue eyes again...to hear him laugh, cry, coo, whine....anything.

I'm trying really hard not to be angry. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to blame anyone. I just want one more minute with my son. I know I'll see him again, but I don't want to have to wait that long. Why God needed Ayden, I'll never know. Why the happiest part of my whole life was torn away from me, I'll never understand. It's still not real...

I have to make arrangments today. How do I do that? How do I plan this? I can't even get out of the bed. I can't go 5 minutes without crying. I don't want to take his stuff out of the rooms, but I can't face it all. How do I pick up the pieces? How do I ever look at his clothes again. Everything reminds me of him.

He IS my sweet, sweet boy. He was learning to give us kisses...and what I wouldn't do for one of those kisses right now. I know he is playing with Jesus...giving him kisses....laughing, smiling, taking it all in. I just wish I could be with him. I need him.... How do I live without him?

I know life will go forward and it'll take us with it. But right now, we are stuck and we are hurting beyond belief. I never thought I could hurt like this. I don't understand why God thought I could handle this, because I'm not doing well at all. Neither of us are. It was just too soon...

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We need all the support and strength that we can get right now. We're running on empty and just trying to function.

273 comments:

  1. Lindsay, we love you so much. God can heal your heart and bring you peace, with time. Please know that there are people everywhere praying for you and who will support you along the way.

    Thank you for sharing your last memories of Ayden on your blog. What a wonderful way to celebrate his life.

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  2. Thank you for sharing from your heart. We are praying. May the Lord give you peace as you find your strength in him.

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  3. Lindsay, you are so incredibly brave to share this most vulnerable and painful time in your life. Your precious baby boy had a wonderful mother and will be the most beautiful angel.

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  4. Lindsay,

    There are no words or understanding. Only broken hearts and sadness for and with you. And love and prayers for peace.

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss, Lindsay. Words cannot even begin to touch how much I ache for you and your family.

    Prays for your family are wide-spread and reaching far away. People you have never even met or known in any way are hurting for you and praying for you.

    Please let us know if there is anything at all that we can do for you.

    -Kaylene (and Matt) Bain

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  6. I don't know you guys personally, but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I pray that God gives you the strength and peace that you need right now.

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  7. Lindsay, Words seem so inadequate, but know that we are bathing your family in prayer during this hour of deep sorrow. Praying that you will feel God's loving arms around you and that in time, He will give you a peace that passes all understanding.

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  8. Lindsay, my heart is broken for you & Jeremy. I cannot even begin to express my deepest sympathy for you two. The loss of a child has to be an unspeakable, unfathomable pain. I pray that God's comfort will surround both of you during this time.

    Becky (childhood friend of Jeremy)

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  9. I don't know you personally, but my heart hurts terribly for you. I am praying that God gives you the inner strength and comfort you so deperately need right now.

    Shannon Wainwright

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  10. Only a mother can understand the love she has for a child so I wasn't surprised in the least that me and a number of my friends (who don't even know you) cried with you yesterday when we heard the news. Just imagining how it must feel to lose your child brings an immense pain and you wonder "how could this happen?" "why?" "why her little boy?" I cannot fathom the unbelievable pain that you and your family are in, but know that you are in our prayers every minute. I pray that God gives you peace and strength to get through this. My heart goes out to you and your family. Just remember that you will see Ayden again... you WILL and this most certainly is not "good-bye."

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  11. Lindsay,

    I don't have any words or advice or anything to say that is going to take this pain away.

    I'm so, so, so very sorry for you and Jeremy.

    We love you guys very much.

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  12. I am SO sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your family.

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  13. Lindsay and Jeremy.... please know that our heart goes out to you... we've cried lots as we too can't understand and are trying to trust in GOD... Having 2 children ourselves-- 1 who would have probably played ball together like Jeremy and I have, makes it worse... I would be a liar if I told you I wasn't angry and questioning.... I know things are in GOD's time but it just doesn't seem right... We are hurting with you.... I don't even know how you've done as well as you have... GOD must know that you and Jeremy are indeed strong.... please don't hesitate to call for extra shoulders and hugs....
    much love and prayers...
    Tim, Gina, Morgan, & Landon

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  14. Lindsay,

    Even though I have never met you as I read your post I cried for you, your husband, and your family!! I can never imagine the pain you are feeling or the blur you must be experiencing!! Words can't seem to even begin to be adequate in such a circumstance but know that you are being lifted up by those that know you and those that don't. My thoughts and prayers go with you as you journey down this road that no parent ever wants to face! May you find peace and strength in our Lord!!!

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  15. I don't know you personally, but I wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family.

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  16. I have not met you in person but I was at CC the Sunday that Ayden attended church for the first time. I'm praying for you and Jeremy and your entire family. And I am praying that Jesus returns soon so that you can hold Ayden once more. You will be constantly in my thoughts and prayers in the days to come.

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  17. Lindsay,
    I do not know you personally. I work in the department next to your mother. Yesterday, I wanted so much to hug you and assure you that everything would be alright. My heart aches because I have been where you are. My son was 10 wks old and would have been 31 years old next month. I cried yesterday and relived everything just like it had just happened to me. My son and Ayden are angels. They are on assignment exclusively for Jesus now. We will never understand why things happen to us because His ways are above our ways. My prayers shall always be with you and thank you for sharing your experience. Ayden will always live in your heart. May God’s peace and love envelop you and your family now and always. Look to the hills for your strength. All our help comes from the Lord!

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  18. I do not know either of you, but a friend of mine shared your blog with me. I am so so sorry for your loss and the difficult times you are facing and will face. I pray that somehow through this you will find the peace that surpasses all understanding. I just prayed for you and your family and will continue to do so. I am a mother myself and I know words cannot describe what you are going through. Ayden is an adorable little boy. I pray that you cling to each other and the Lord through this.

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  19. Lindsay I'm so sorry. I want you to know that I love you guys and I am praying for you.
    -Connie

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  20. Praying continuously for you and your family. God will hold your hand and walk you step-by-step through this. Only he knows the answers to the why's.

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful baby boy with us on here!

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  21. My dear sweet Granddaughter, my heart aches for you, Jeremy and your family. I remember all to well the events in past years of my life, not to grieve and suffer with with someone I love as I love you. Although, bad things happen to good people, we must remember that every good and perfect gift is from God. As we place our trust in Him, we will soon realize the God's grace is sufficient for thee. I love you all!
    Grandpa Johnson

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  22. Lindsay, I can't begin to understand the pain you must feel right now, but based on the love you have for God and the love you have for your husband and Ayden, I know God will pull you through this. I have never met you guys, but I am praying for you and I am sure many others are as well. May you feel God's love all around you.

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  23. Lindsay, I'm so so sorry. We love you both, and you're in our prayers.

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  24. I don't know you, but found your blog through someone else. I have so many things I would love to tell you, but I know words can not heal your heart. I can promise you that I will pray for you and your family during this difficult time.

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  25. I do not know you or your family, but I want you to know that I am sending up prayers. This has pained my heart and I pray that God gives you strength and peace at this time.

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  26. I don't know your family, but words can not express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. My heart aches for what you are going through. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Although you can not hold your sweet baby boy in your arms, know that he is with Jesus. He will hold your baby for you until you are together again. May God be with you during this time and give you peace.

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  27. Lindsay and Jeremy, I am from Amarillo and heard about your blog from my Christian Mom's website. As someone else mentioned, I know there are no words that I can say to ease your pain at this horrid time. I pray that God will surround you with people who can meet your physical needs and that you will turn to Him for comfort as only He can provide. Love and prayers headed your way. . .

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  28. Lindsay,
    I know nothing can heal your pain right now and I know you may not be able to read all these comments in one day. I know it is hard to just live life right now and I know it may not seem like it but time will make life easier. Your heart will never heal fully but the pain will ease. I know, not because I lost a child I spent four months with, but because I had a miscarriage when I didn't know I was pregnant until I was looking at a baby the size of a grain of rice. It was hard enough and I can't imagine a worse pain. You don't know me personally but I do share your pain even if our situations are different as well as our stages of grief. Feel free to email me anytime. fairisia@gmail.com
    ~Ann

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  29. Lindsay I'm so very very very sorry for what has happened....I can't even imagine the pain just know that even though Im miles away if you need anything don't hesitated to ask.... You are your families are in my thoughts and in my heart....My heart aches for you.

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  30. Lindsay, I know we haven't spoken in a very long time but I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I was to hear this. Our family is praying so hard for your strength and inner-peace. Ayden is home now and you have nothing more to worry about because he is with our sweet Lord Jesus.

    Thank you for being a wonderful mother to one of God's little miracles.

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  31. Lindsay and Jeremy,
    Someone from your church sent me to your blog. I believe we're not meant to make sense of such things as your great loss, and nobody knows your pain but Christ. Lean on Him. Praying you can find comfort in Him.
    Steve

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  32. Oh Lindsay, I am so so incredibly sorry for your loss. You don't know me, but your story was posted in a prayer forum on a message board I'm a part of. Tuesday night I saw a midwife friend of mine who mentioned one of her former clients needed prayer because she had lost her baby, and I can only assume that was you that she was talking about. I considder it an honor to pray for you and your family. I know only a small piece of the heartache you are experiencing right now...I have two sons but we just lost a daughter to miscarriage a couple of weeks ago. I, like you, already had so many plans for her...and her loss was not just the loss of her precious life, but the loss of all of those dreams and hopes as well.

    Please know that you have a whole host of people praying for you, that anything you are feeling is OK and NORMAL, and that it is OK to mourn for as long as you need. And know that death is not from God...God's will was for everyone to live eternally in personal communion with Him. But if you are angry at God, that's ok too- He's big enough to take it. He is mourning right along with you.

    When (IF) you think you need it, there is a support group at PCMH for those who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss called Find Hope. They have support group meetings and they can also match you up to another family who has been through a similar loss.

    You are in my prayers!

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  33. Lindsay, Jeremy...there just are no words. My heart goes out to you, and my prayers go up for you.

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  34. All though I have not met you personally, my heart just breaks for you. I can not imagine the hurt you, your husband, and family are feeling. I have been praying for you and your family. God will help you through; just take it one breath at a time. Your sweet son is with our Lord and Savior. He will take good care of him, until you are there with him once again... I will keep you all in my prayers.

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  35. I'm a friend of Allison Rose's and came across this post. I don't even know you and just reading your words I myself started to cry because I know what it feels like to loose a child. I lost one that I never even got to meet and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to face. In time the Lord will heal your heart, but don't ever forget all the good times that you spent with your son. He sounds like he was a great child and that is something that you and your husband should both be VERY proud of.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both!

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  36. I just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and my heart is just broken for you. May the Lord give you strength and peace and I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  37. I am soon to be a new mommy and my heart is just breaking for you. I don't know what I would do if this happened to my sweet girl. Thank goodness for your faith and support of family and friends to help you through this.

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  38. Lindsay, I can't imagine what you are going through. Please let Jordan and I know if there is ANYTHING we can do. Even if you just want to get out of the house or you don't feel like cooking dinner. I can't imagine the pain you are in. Please know that we are here for you and lifting you up in prayer constantly.

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  39. Praying for you. There's no understanding but only a promise that we serve a mighty, mighty God. Bigger than anything we can go through. Lean on Him and know your brothers and sisters in Christ are praying continually.

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  40. I do not know your family personally, but please know that I am praying for you all. May God bless you all and in the days ahead, you find peace, comfort and strength.

    Angie Sanders

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  41. Hey baby! Oh man, I am trying to hold back the tears while reading this....Man, Im not a mother but I love babies. They are the most precious gift. I am an aunt and I love my one-year old niece and nephew with everything I have. With me loving them that much, I can only imagine how it would be to have my OWN child. I love you and want to do anything I can to help. I complain about so much now and reading this makes me stop and think ppl are going thru situations that make my problems seem childish (and they really are). You are my inspiration and I pray that you gain strength more and more each day. By me growing up with you makes it even tougher. You are one of the sweetest persons I know and there's never been a day when I saw you in a not-so-good mood or angry. You are my hero.

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  42. Many of your friends and family will want to reach out to console you. Unfortunately(not for them, thank the Lord they haven't been through something like this) they won't be able to help you. Truly the only people who can understand are those that have lost a child.

    You don't know me, but if you need someone who understands I'm a good ear. I lost my son at 7 weeks old in 2006. I've been where you are now. You can contact me at andrea_ecu@yahoo.com

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  43. Lindsay, I am from Sunset Avenue Baptist church and your extended family is so precious to me which means so are you. I cannot imagine your loss. So I will mourn with you and rejoice in your words that Ayden did not have to suffer the pain of this world. Amen to that. From one mother's heart to yours. Love, love, love.

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  45. I don't know you, but I have a 4 month old baby girl, and your story breaks my heart. I will be praying for you.

    I don't know why, and I don't know if you'll ever know why this side of heaven, but I do know that Jesus is crying with you, and that his grace is sufficient and his love is boundless and that he is nearer to you now than ever.

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  46. I don't know either of you personally. My cousin Valerie (who shared her similar story with you in a previous comment) shared your blog with me. I was so touched by your honesty. The lump in my throat is still there as I write this. We never know why God takes those we love. I don't have children so I cannot begin to know how you two must feel, but I do know that God can do anything...and in time, He will ease your pain. I will continue to lift your names in prayer. I hope that you feel all the love that is coming your way, not only from those who know and love you, but also from complete strangers like me who have read your story. May God continue to grant you the peace you need. Peace & Blessings!

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  47. Lindsay and Jeremy, although I have never talked to you personally, we sat right across from you most Sundays and watched your adorable son be such a good boy in church. My heart has ached and continues to for your loss, I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through but I have prayed for you ever day since that awful day. I pray that God some how gives you peace and grace.
    The Saldanas

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  48. Lindsay and Jeremy,
    I am also in disbelief of your loss of someone so precious as Ayden. I have no consolation words to offer you, but I can only say that my heart is breaking with yours.

    I am so very sorry and am helpless. I hope my offer of prayers for you will be acceptable.

    I love you,
    Tim Cunningham

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  49. Lindsay and Jeremy, My heart is aching and your name has been called a number of times by me in prayer. I certainly understand your questions even though they may not be answered until your reunion with Ayden in heaven. May God grant you His special strength and peace.

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  50. I know that there are no words that can take away what you and your family are feeling. It is so hard to be mama to a little one who isn't in your arms. All I can say is that the Lord is faithful. He doesn't automatically make it easy, but He is with you, and He will bring you through. Just hold on with everything you've got.

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  51. I don't know you personally, but my heart hurts for you and your husband. God will never give you more than you can handle. I don't understand why and I know you don't, but God knows why. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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  52. Lindsey, No you dont know me directly, but i did go to school with you. My name is Connie "Hamer" Wright, I just read your blog and im in tears tore up..Im soo sorry for your's and your husbands lose...Iam praying for you, and Prayin that God Gives you the understanding to accept his decision on taking your Little boy. We may never know the reason Why Jesus does what he does. But he does it for a reason, and all we can do is just accept it. As Hard as it is, We just have to grow and being stronger. I imagen Ayden was a sweet lil boy, and reading your blog, i could just picuture him Coo, smileing and all the fun stuff a 4 month old does. You dont have to hide your pain, or grive alone, you know you have us to grive on, and if you need to talk..Just Write me on facebook..Im terriably sorry..Words cant say or explain what you or your husband are going through..


    God bless Lindsey and her husband on this day, Give them the strenghth to make it through the day, Most of all god Give the Understand That you are taking Care of there precious little Ayden, that he is there playing with the angels, and smiling down on his mommy and daddy..God,I know this isnt easy for them, and i can only imagen what they are faced with. I thank you for being there Lord, and takeing care of ayden. You are powerful, and Mighty, and with your Power, you will provide them with the courage to live another day, the strength to get out of bed and the will to make it. Its only a matter of time before they will get to see there little boy again in heaven.. Thank you lord. I pray that your hand will be with them today when they have to go make a tough decision for the little boy, God, ...LORD be in that room with them..reasure them its alright, even though in there heart they are griveing...be with them...I pray this in your mighty Name...Amen!!

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  53. I do not know your family personally, but I have been praying for all of you. I continue to pray that God will grant you comfort, peace, understanding and healing in this difficult time. I know God will watch over your family and see you all through this. Praying for you especially today.

    May God comfort you in this difficult time.

    In Christ's Love,
    Melissa Parks
    (friend of Laura Saufley)

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  54. My goodness I don't even know you but I read your blog because my cousin posted prayer for you and your husband. There are no answers to your questions except GOD. He WILL help you get through this. You will never get over it but you will get through it. Just hang on to each other and the Word of God. You have many prayers going up for you.

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  55. Lindsay, my name is Robbie Edwards and I am a friend of the Justin and Lauren Thorn. I heard about this heartbreaking tragedy through a note that Lauren posted on Facebook. After hearing about what happened I asked Justin and Lauren if it were OK for me to share something with you and they asked me to post it here on your blog. I hope this will at least be of some comfort during this incredibly difficult time.

    Years ago I lost my foster mom to a sudden heart attack during a Sunday morning church service. Not long after she went to be with Jesus, the Lord sent someone to give me the following story that I have NEVER forgotten. I don't know if this will bring any comfort, but I feel compelled to share it.

    Have you ever imagined what life would be like if you were a bird? The entire world would be your home. You could fly where ever you wanted, see whatever you wanted, and live where ever you wanted. Little things like gravity would be no trouble for you. When you were hungry, you could always go anywhere you desire to find food. When you wanted to find a mate, all you would need to do is sing a beautiful song. You can build a home out of whatever suits your fancy and your home could be where ever you like. You are truly free!

    But as a bird, there are certain things about the world that don't make sense to you. You can't figure out why thunderstorms and hurricanes blow your way. You don't understand a lot of things that happen in this world. Politics, pollution, and wars are all things that just don't comprehend. The beauty of art and the science of philosophy are all foreign concepts. In fact, even if Aristotle himself sat down on your branch and tried to explain these things to you, you would not understand because you're just a bird and you have your limits.

    So if you can accept that a bird has limits on things they can understand, then maybe you can accept that there are limits on the things that we can understand. We tend to think of ourselves as highly intelligent people who can figure out any puzzle and solve any problem. But the fact is, there are things that happen that we just don't understand. And even when God himself sits down on our branch, we can't comprehend His reasons for doing things. And while He never offered to give us all the answers, He did promise that He will neither leave us nor forsake us. As hard as it may be right now, God loves your family and He will be your anchor through this storm.

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  56. My heart is aching for you. I will pray that you are held in the midst of this. It is like that song coming to realization- here are the words- sorry for the long comment

    Held
    by Natalie Green
    two months is too little
    they let him go
    they had no sudden healing
    to think that providence
    would take a child from his mother
    while she prays, is appalling
    who told us we’d be rescued
    what has changed and
    why should we be saved from nightmares
    we’re asking why this happens to us
    who have died to live, it’s unfair
    chorus
    this is what it means to be held
    how it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
    and you survive
    this is what it means to be loved and to know
    that the promise was that when everything fell
    we’d be held
    this hand is bitterness
    we want to taste it and
    let the hatred numb our sorrows
    the wise hand opens slowly
    to lilies of the valley and tomorrow
    this is what it means to be held
    how it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
    and you survive
    this is what it means to be loved and to know
    that the promise was that when everything fell
    we’d be held
    if hope is born of suffering
    if this is only the beginning
    can we not wait, for one hour
    watching for our savior
    this is what it means to be held
    how it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
    and you survive
    this is what it means to be loved and to know
    that the promise was that when everything fell
    we’d be held

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  57. I was passed along your blog from a friend to a friend so I don't know you but I have a son that is 4 months old. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. My heart breaks for you and your family but know that you are in my prayers. May God give you the strength to make it through this difficult time.

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  58. Lindsay,
    I am from Kinston... a friend directed me to your blog. My heart breaks for you and your husband. Please know that prayers are being lifted for your healing and peace. I know there are no words that will make it better...
    Please continue to CELEBRATE your son's life. He was given to you for a reason and God decided to bring him home. God has HIS reasons... Reasons we will never fully be able to understand.
    Prayers are going up, up, up. ((HUGS))

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  59. Hi, I do not know you guys but wanted to say that I can relate...We lost our son Jan. 3, 2003 and I never thought I would survive the pain that was so deep to the core of my being. I asked why why why....I am here today 6yrs later stronger and have seen Elishas life/dealth used in a mighty way!! While I was anger, depressed, sad, lost, confused etc God held me, walked with me, carried me stood before me/with me and I am much stronger! It still hurts and I still long for my son but I have been able to see Gods hand in it when I know the enemy wanted to use our lose to destroy!! God WON If you ever would like to connect my email is marie.dellinger@yahoo.com May God keep and bless you. Amy

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  60. Lindsay, I do not know you, but I found your blog through Lauren Mason. I am praying for you and your husband and I will share your story with my bible study group so we can all lift you up in prayer! Sadly, we don't have all the answers, but MY God is a BIG God and he DOES have the answers! Take it one day at the time!

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  61. GOD NEEDED ANOTHER ANGEL. YOUR SON NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU MISS HIM, OR DON'T UNDERSTAND, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. WE WILL PROBABLY NEVER KNOW THE REASON, BUT BE AT PEACE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. GOD LOVES YOU VERY MUCH

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  62. Hi Lindsay, I am a friend of Lauren's. I am just letting you know I am so very sorry for your loss and I keeping you and your family in my prayers.

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  63. Hi friend,

    I may never meet you this side of heaven, but unfortunately, we share a connection that no mama should ever have to endure. The only thing that helped me out of those horrible first few days/weeks/months were to surround myself with Scripture. Read, sing, listen, and speak it as often as you can. Even through your tears, screams, weakness, and pain, our God hears you and hurts with you. I will pray for you, my friend.

    fondly,
    rebekah

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  64. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you and your husband are going through. I was sobbing as I read your post about your sweet son. I pray that the Lord will be your comfort today and in the weeks and months to come.

    The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

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  65. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. I wish I could hug you right now and I don't even know you but I wish I could hug you and tell you everything will be ok, that you have friends and family that love you and will help you get through this. My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you and your family

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  66. I am so so sorry, I can't even imagine the hurt. Praying for you and your sweet family.

    From Jonah's blog.

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  67. May The Lord bless you and keep you.

    May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you.

    May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.

    Praying for all of you.

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  68. I am soo sorry. I follow Jonah's blog and that is how I found you.

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  69. Just stopping by to let you know, that there is a WHOLE blogging community praying for you and crying with you. I am so terribly sorry for your heartache.

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  70. My heart aches for you and your family. I will keep in in my heart and prayers.

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  71. Praying for you right now. I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Ayden.

    Heather
    South Carolina

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  72. I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep your family in my prayers. I wish there was something more i could say or do, but nothing could possibly take away the pain of your loss. I will be praying for you.

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  73. Lyndsay, I am a stranger who found your blog through another one requesting prayer on your family's behalf. We are praying that God hold you close during this time and that He pour out His sweet peace upon you. We are so deeply sorry for your loss.

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  74. We do not know each other, however, I just couldn't imagine reading this terribly sad story and not saying something to you! A REAL family that has lost their greatest love! I know that my words will do nothing, but hopefully you will find some sort of comfort knowing that so many of us send of love and hope for peace for you and your family! My heart is broken for you. I AM SO SO SORRY! jennifer melda

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  75. I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine how intense this pain must be. My heart breaks for you and your family. I am praying that God holds you extra close and carries you these days you cannot walk.
    Angela

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  76. Lindsay I have cried so many times for you. My prayer for you is that you will find a way to make it through each day for the next months. We're headed to the church in a few minutes to celebrate his precious life with you. Please, you and Jeremy both, don't hesitate to call us if you need a shoulder to cry on or somewhere to go to get your mind off things. We love you and are praying for you.

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  77. My heart is breaking for you both as you go through something that no parent should ever have to face.... your precious Ayden is safe in the arms of Jesus and you will see him again, until then cling to your Father who loves you both more than you could ever know, and please know that my prayers are with you... Sending so much love your way
    Jenny xoxoxoxo

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  78. So very sorry for the loss of your precious son. Praying for strength for you and all your family.

    Love from Texas,
    Shannon

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  79. I am just a stranger who's words can do nothing to ease your grief in this, your darkest hour. But I do remember when I suffered my darkest hour that I clung to everything... every word from family, friends and strangers. I am so deeply sorry that your darling, precious boy Ayden has slipped from your arms. You are absolutely right that what he knew of this world was perfect. He knew the deepest love from two adoring parents. He knew the joy of sharing the simplest of life's pleasures, like snuggling to sleep with his loving mommy, right up until his last day. He will sing his joys of the life he had to all of his angel friends and you will always hear his song in the song of every bird and every cricket. You will feel his soft, perfect baby skin in the touch of every soft breeze. He is now your perfect guardian angel. Although he is not in your arms, he is right there... present in your heart until its last beat. Whenever your heart cries out, he will be there to hear it. And when your heart finds joy again one day, he will feel the joy with you. He IS your son. He will ALWAYS BE your son.

    I am so, so sorry and my heart and prayers are with you now and in the coming days and months as you stumble through the darkness of your grief. But please don't ever forget that you are not alone in your grief. There are too many mommies and daddies in this world who have guardian angels instead of living children. Do not be afraid to reach out to them both in this blogosphere and in local support groups where those who have walked similar paths can lean on each other for strength. And do not expect too much from yourselves. Grief is very, very hard.

    Rest in peace sweet, darling Ayden. Blow your mommy and daddy a kiss down from heaven to help them as they miss you beyond all measure.

    Much love,
    Christena

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  80. Came over here from the Williams' family blog and just wanted to say my heart aches for you. I'm so sorry you have to go through something like this. I cannot imagine. I'm a mom, so I know how much love you had for your child, but I've never lost a child so I don't know your pain. I cannot even imagine.

    I pray that God will ease your pain and show you happiness one day again. You have a lot of people praying for you.

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  81. Thank you for sharing your memories and feelings with all of us bloggers. I am thinking of you and will pray for you often.

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  82. Sweet friends I am praying for your family. God does love you!

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  83. Lindsay and Jeremy,
    We have never met but I followed a link to your blog and wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I was crying as I read your post. PLeas know that I will be praying for you both.

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  84. Lindsay - I came to your blog from Patrice Williams blog.

    I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family. My heart breaks and aches for you all.

    After reading your blog I cannot stop crying and hurting for you.

    You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers for a very long time.

    Janel Waters

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  85. Just coming over from another blog to let you know my tears run for you, your husband and your family as you grieve the loss of your son Ayden. As a fellow mommy of a guardian angel sitting besides Jesus, I pray that you will feel the Lord more strongly now than you ever have in your life. Cry out to Him in your frustration and pain--He is a big God and HE can take it.

    The pain in your heart will lessen over time, but the ache never goes away. Rest in knowing that there are many of us bringing your family to His ear. May you feel that.

    Amanda

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  86. Lindsey, You don't know me but I am Ashlynn's cousin. I just want you to know that we are praying for you and your family. I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel, all I can do is pray that this enormous hurt will lifted from you soon.

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  88. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  89. Hugs!!! Praying for you and your family. May you find healing, strength, and peace in the Lord.

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  90. Praying for your whole family.

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  91. I don't know you, but I wanted you to know that others care. My heart aches for you loss. I'll pray for you.

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  92. Praying for you and your family at this difficult time. We are so very, very sorry for your loss.

    The Alger Family from St. Peter, MN

    Chelsea, Steve, Signe and Isaac

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  93. I cannot even fathom the heartache you are experiencing. I'm praying for you and your husband. I am so very sorry

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  94. So so incredibly sorry for the loss of Ayden. There just aren't words. I can't even begin to understand why something like this would happen. This world seems so broken.

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  95. Lindsay and Jeremy,I am so sorry for your loss. I know your pain is deep and wide, but cling to God and in His time, He will bring you through. In the meantime, I pray He gives you strength and comfort to get through each day.

    I enjoyed listening to the video of Ayden giggling. He was obviously a much loved, well cared for and happy baby.

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  96. I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  97. i'm so sorry for your loss. i wish i had just the right words to say, but i know there is nothing, other than to tell you my family is praying for you.

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  98. So very sorry. I am praying for your hearts to find peace. I know Ayden is loving you so much from heaven.

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  99. I'm so very sorry and my deepest thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  100. I've been sitting here trying to think of something encouraging to say for about 10 minutes now and honestly if I sat here another 10 hours it wouldn't help. I can't even begin to imagine the depth of pain you are in right now. I am a complete stranger and yet I cried for you and your precious baby, so I can't begin to imagine how many tears you have shed. I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. I will pray daily for God's peace, comfort, and strength for you and your family.
    Terah
    (over from the William's family blog)

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  101. I am just another reader I have never commented on your blog but I have read it before.I just want to say that I am praying for you.

    Thank you for sharing your memories of Ayden.

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  102. We don't know each other, but I'm praying for you. Came to your blog from Patrice Williams' blog. I can't even imagine what you guys are going through right now so I won't try to provide any comforting words other than "I'm praying."

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  103. I don't even know you all but have 3 kids and can't imagine your pain. I've thought of you many times today and I'm sure I will still for the next several days. I will be praying God's comforting hand will help you get through this. We'll never understand, but God is holding you just like he's holding Ayden. His heart hurts, too. He created this angel of yours. Just cry, cry, cry knowing God is crying with you. God bless you and your family.

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  104. Lifting you and your sweet family up in my prayers. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I found you by way of Patrice William's blog. Please know you'll be prayed for.

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  105. I came you your blog from Patrice William's blog. All I can say is I'll be praying whenever God brings you to mind.

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  106. I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and for healing and understanding someday. God already knows how you feel so it is okay to feel angry, hurt, and ask why.

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  107. I am so sorry...beyond belief, for your pain. You have touched my heart in more ways than you know. We are praying for you all.

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  108. Lindsay, I can't tell you how heartbroken I am for you. My niece Patrice posted your circumstances on her blog, and I am devastated for you. There are simply no words for the kind of questions I have for the Lord ... in the plainest of terms, it just isn't fair. You will be in our prayers.

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  109. I came over from Jonah's blog. My heart hurt for you as I read this and tears were running down my face. Please know that people who don't even know you are praying for you and your husband!

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  110. Please know that we lifting you up in prayer; and weeping along-side you.

    In His Love -
    Chris

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  111. My heart is broken for you and your husband. I pray that God will comfort you in the days ahead as you face the hardest thing a parent could ever have to face. May God fill you with PEACE. Just know that God will never leave or forsake you. He is carrying you through this tragedy.

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  112. Our hearts are breaking for you - all the way from Texas.
    God is grieving too. He did not take your son. He does not bring death - He brings life, joy, peace. This just "happened".

    It's part of living in this fallen world that we experience the sickness, sin, and death. Jesus says that in this world we will all have trouble, but when we do, He promises to be WITH us and IN us, carrying us when we cannot do anything ourselves. His faith and His strength will be your own.

    Ayden was so blessed to have you and your husband as his parents!

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  113. My heart is breaking for you! I can not imaging the pain you and your husband must be feeling. I will pray for Jesus to be near and hold you extra close! God Bless!

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  114. I've not read your blog before today but I am sitting here crying with you today. Saying I'm sorry for your loss is just not enough, I'm so sorry...Michelle

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  115. Words cannot express my sorrow. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you, your husband and your family.

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  116. Lindsay, we do not know each other but I am praying for you and your husband. God will giv eyou strenght and he will heal your heart, but you will have to give him time.

    Praying for you in TN!
    The Beach Family

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  117. Lindsay I do not know you personally but heard about your loss through a mutual friend. I am so sorry for your loss. With time god can heal your heart and bring you some peace. My prayers are with you and your family.

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  118. There are no words to ease your shattered heart. I don't know you, but I do know the feeling, and I am very sorry. All we can do is pray for you, and hope that you feel the comfort of Gods hand.

    Sending you prayers from CA.
    Stephnie

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  119. I wish I knew exactly what to say to help ease your pain but I don't. I just want to tell you that we are praying for you and your family during this difficult time. I pray God's love is able to comfort you and that you find peace know that Ayden loved you very much and that he is playing in heaven with our Father.

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  120. While I dont know you or your family, please know that I am in pain with you. My heart just breaks for you. I really just cant imagine....

    I wish you much peace during this very difficult time. ((hugs))

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  121. I know your probably wondering who i am. but i was in Mr. Jones math class about 2 or 3 years ago.. :D he was the nicest person ever! i heard the news about your son and it made me want to cry! No one ever deserves to go through something like this! im so sorry that this happened to you guys! Just keep in mind through this hard time that God did this for a reason! this was apart of his plan! you and your family are in my prayers!

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  122. I don't even know you Lindsay but my heart is breaking for you right now. That is a devastation no parent should have to go through. I will hold you and your husband in my heart and prayers during this time. I pray that God will give you strength to get through the coming days.
    (((hugs))) Jenn VH

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  123. Thank you for sharing your hurt and your pain.

    As I sit here crying I can't imagine the hurt and pain you must be going through. I pray that God gives you peace and that you can find comfort in Him.

    I am so sorry.

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  124. I am stopping by from the Williams Family blog to say I am praying for you. My heart is broken for you and all you are going through. Lean on God for your strength.

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  125. I too lost our baby to SIDS. He was our first born child, Grayson. He died almost 7 years ago. My heart goes out to the two of you. I know what you are going through, I've been there. I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    http://www.tutusandchoochoos.blogspot.com
    Kelley

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  126. I am so sorry for your loss. I buried my 20 y.o. son recently. He went to be with Jesus on Father's day after a motorcylce accident. It does get easier, but, on the other hand it will hit you out of the blue. We will be praying for your family.

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  127. Found you through the Williams' blog... our third is also 4 months old... I am just weeping, openly, for you... don't know what to say other than that we will be praying for you and your husband.

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  128. I found your blog through Jonah's and I just want to say I'm so sorry and I'll be thinking of you guys.

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  129. My name is Mandy. I followed a link to your blog today. I have typed this comment a few times and keep deleting what I've written. I have nothing wise or comforting to say. I just wanted to let you know that my heart is breaking for you, I cried through your entire post. I have said a prayer for your famiy and will continue to do so. I know nothing will comfort you right now but I hope soon the many many prayers that are being said for you will be answered and you will be granted some peace.


    Mandy King

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  130. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet, sweet boy. I am praying for your family.

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  131. Lindsay, I don't know you personally but my heart hurts for you. Please know that you & Jeremy are in my prayers.

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  132. My god, there are no words...Prayers of peace to you and your family.

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  133. May the Lord give you peace. I'll keep Ayden and both of you in my prayers.

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  134. Praying for you, your family and your sweet little boy.

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  135. I found your blog through Matt and Patrice Williams' blog. I just stopped by to let you know that I am praying for you. There are no words to express how sorry I am for you and your husband.

    The one thing you can stand on is God's love for you and His faithfulness. He is who He says He is.

    After my husband and I lost our first three boys to stillbirth (one singleton and then twins), the only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that I would see my babies again. One verse in particular brought me that hope. It is 2 Samuel 12:23. King David is speaking after the death of his baby boy. "I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

    Someday, dear Jones family, you shall go to your sweet Ayden. Until then, lean on those you love and allow them and the Father to carry you through these dark days.

    Love and prayers,
    Melissa
    Albuquerque, NM

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  136. I've prayed for your family all day.

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  137. Lindsay, words can even begin to express how sorry I am for your loss. It is times like this that we don't understand why God calls little ones home, but we know that it is part of God's plan. It breaks my heart to know that you have to go through all this pain and sorrow. I pray that you and Jeremy will be able to find peace during this difficult time.

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  138. I am so sorry for your loss. It is very hard when God decides to take someone soo very young and precious to us. We will be there for Jeremy whenever he decides to come back to SCHS. You will be in all of our prayers. You are both loved by so many people. If you guys need anything please don't hesitate to ask.

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  139. I don't know you but as a mother my heart is shattered on your behalf. No parent should have to lose a child and I am so very sorry. I pray the lord will bless your heart with healing and one day joy to match your sorrow. The following is a song the children in my church sing and when I hear of a child passing away I think of it....

    I am a child of God and he has sent me here
    Has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear
    Lead me guide me walk beside me help me find the way
    Teach me all that I must do to live with him someday.


    I am a child of God and He has called me home.
    My earthly journey's through but still, I do not walk alone.
    He leads me, guides me, walks beside me, helps me find the way.
    He welcomed me with open arms. I live with Him today.


    I am a child of God and I have gone ahead.
    My earthly life was brief but oh, such peace and love you gave.
    You loved me, held me, stood beside me and though I cannot stay.
    You gave me much to help me and I live with Him today.


    I am a child of God and I will wait for you.
    Celestial glory shall be ours, if you can but endure.
    I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you.
    Help you find the way.
    I'll welcome you with open arms
    One bright Celestial day.

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  140. Lindsay and Jeremy I am so sorry for your loss!!!I found your blog through jonahs mother and as I sit here i cry with you.I can not imagine your pain.Just know I am praying for you and your family!!May you be lifted up in the prayers from around the world!May god hold you tight through this dark time!!

    love a sister in christ,Jessica montgomery al

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  141. So sorry to read of your dear son's passing. I cannot imagine your pain as you plan a funeral for your babe.

    Please know that we are praying for you both as you "pass through the fire"....(key word being "through"). Keep trusting God. His plans are right.

    All your son's days were ordained before one of them came to be (Psalm 139). God has a plan.

    Michelle Found
    Picton, Ontario, Canada
    www.fiddlersfound.blogspot.com

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  142. I am so sorry for you loss. Ill be praying for you.

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  143. my 3 month old son began daycare on Monday and I cannot even imagine the pain you are experiencing. Even though we don't know each other my heart is breaking for you. I am praying for God to hold you and give you some peace...

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  144. Praying that God would give you the peace that passes all understanding. You and your husband are in my prayers

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  145. I do not know your personally, but my heart breaks for you, your family and your friends. As a mother myself, I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are going through. I hope you find comfort in all the people and support surrounding you at this tragic time. Know there are people everywhere praying for your family and may God ease your pain.

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  146. Thank you for sharing this story, I know you do not know who I am but I was sent your story and my heart just melts for you and your family. May god bless you in this time of hurt and pain. My prayers are with you always and forever.

    ~Shannon Frederick, MD

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  147. I read about you guys on Jonah's blog...So very sorry for the loss of your precious son. My heart aches for you and I just want you to know you are in my prayers. Jenny

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  148. Lindsay and Jeremy,
    My heart aches for the both of you. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I worked with Jeremy at Nash Central High. My dad, Richard Proctor, works with Calvin. I hope in time that your hearts will heal some. Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  149. I am a friend of Lauren Thorn's and I cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. I have a baby boy of my own and I can only imagine the pain you must be going through. I know that children that are taken from us are pure and innocent in the eyes of God and that in the next life you WILL get to raise your sweet baby boy as you should have here. For now, I know he is in loving arms waiting for that wonderful reunion with his mommy and daddy. www.lds.org

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  150. Hi. Kim at Blessed with Girls requested for prayer for you and your family. We don't know each other but I want to let you know that my heart aches to hear about Ayden going to see God so soon. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll be praying for strength for you and your family. May you find peace amidst the pain and grief in your hearts right now. God bless you!

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  151. I don't know you but I'm praying for you and your family. I have thought about you all day and will continue to pray for you. I am so, so sorry.

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  152. Hopped over from Patrice's blog. Want you to know that I will be praying for you in the days ahead.

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  153. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. It isn't fair when this happens but know that there are many who are hurting with you and will be there when you need us.

    You and your family are in my prayers.

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  154. I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

    Stacey from CA

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  155. I do not know you but saw your story from baby Jonah's link. I just want you to know that there are extra prayers going up for you and your family from Georgia. I am so sorry for your loss but so impressed with your great faith! God bless you!

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  156. You are in my prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss!

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  157. I'm so sad for you. Praying for God's comfort to surround you during this time. *hugs*

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  158. I am so sorry, words just can not express. I'll be praying for your family and that God will keep you close & be of comfort always.

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  159. I don't know you or your husband, or your sweet sweet son. I wanted to tell you I am praying for your family. I am so sorry this has happened to you and that you are going through this pain. I just watched the video of him giggling- he was one happy baby and blessed to have you as parents.

    God Bless.

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  160. I am so sorry. Please know that there are lots of people who don't even know you who are praying for you...

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  161. You are in our thoughts and prayers...
    Lacy (NC)

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  162. I can't imagine. I just linked over from Kim's blog (our buddy Mattie). I watched Ayden giggle and just cried. I never had the pleasure of meeting him, but know that he has brought smiles to so many even in this unbearably difficult time. I'm so sorry. Know that we are praying for healing, peace, and for now--the ability to get through tomorrow.

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  163. I was so sorry to hear your story. I will pray that God will give you strength and guidance in the days that come. I will pray that God might bring you understanding and peace.

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  164. Lindsay and Jeremy, I am so sorry for your loss. It is so brave of you to share your feelings and memories, and the strength of your faith comes through in your words.

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  165. Lindsay, I am so, so sorry you are feeling this kind of grief. I will pray for you. For Jeremy. And the two of you together. That you will hold close to each other and to Jesus through this unimaginable pain.

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  166. Lindsay, I don't know where you found the strength to write this blog, but it is this strength and your unwaivering faith in Christ that will get you through. I have not gotten to know you well, but have admired Ayden during church on Sundays. I have 3 little boys and cannot stop crying just thinking about what you and Jeremy are going through. Just know that prayers are continually going up for your family.

    Love,

    Jana and Jamie Bullard

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  167. My family is praying for your family.

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  168. Sending you prayers from someone that has lost a baby way too soon. You will get through this ........ cling to Jesus as you walk through these dark dark days full of grief.
    Your pain is REAL, let your self grieve and don't let anyone tell you when you should be done.
    Hugs and prayers.......

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  169. I just want you to know that I'm praying for your family! I can't begin to imagine what you are going through right now...my heart broke for you as I read your post. You are in my prayers!

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  170. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Your son is beautiful and I can't imagine how difficult this is for you and your family. You are in my prayers.

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  171. My heart is aching for you and your family right now. I will pray to God to give you peace through this very difficult time. Some how, some way, God will give you peace. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

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  172. Praying for you and your husband during this tragedy!!!

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  173. Lindsay,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I just want to tell you that my prayers are with you and your family. I am praying that God will carry you through this.
    Please don't think that God would take your baby. Satan is the author of death, he came to steal, kill, and destroy. It would never be God's will to take a baby away from his loving family I promise you that. I know it because His Word says so. The Lord is crying with you today. His heart is breaking for you. It is so hard to understand why we have to go through such horrible pain while we are on this earth. Just know that God is good and faithful, he loves you and cares deeply. Cling to Him right now, run to Him and not away from Him.
    Praying for you in Oklahoma.

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  174. I am so sorry! May you find strength and comfort in the Lord.

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  175. Hi. I came over to your blog from Patrice's. She is asking for prayer for you. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I will definitely be praying for you. Words fail, but I'll pray!

    When you are ready to think on things further, you might have your son's clothing made into a quilt.

    Praying for God to hold you tightly in His mighty arms!

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  176. Lindsay and Jeremy, I am so sorry for your loss. Your son is precious. I will pray for you in this time of need.

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  177. We said goodbye to our 8 month old in June of this year. Everything you are saying resonates with me. I understand not wanting to be angry. I didn't want to either. But about 2 weeks after Lael died, I gave in. I was angry, and it helped me. So if you are angry, it's ok. If you aren't, that's ok too. Email me at thepeanut411@gmail.com if you want to. I'd be happy to walk this road with you. It has helped me to know others are facing this excruciating pain too.

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  178. Just found your blog today. I will be praying for you and your family. May you find comfort in the Lord during this time.

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  179. I am just one more stranger who woke up this morning thinking about you and will go to sleep with your precious little boy and the rest of your family on my mind, in my heart and in my prayers. I am so very sorry for your loss. Please find any comfort you can in the fact that there are so many people out there thinking of you now, praying that somehow you two get through this.

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  180. I am praying for you and your family. I pray that the Lord will heal your heart and help to take away your pain as you go through this tremendous trial. God is good and it is ok to let Him know how you feel- yell at Him if you have to to help get through your feelings. He is big enough that He can handle it. He wants to hold you in His arms to help you through this horrible time in life.

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  181. Praying for you. May God's arms wrap around you.

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  182. As a employee of Nash County EMS ive seen things unimaginable to most people. But when i heard of your loss i simply broke down into tears. It really hits home when someone you know suffers this kind of loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time. And even though we might not have seen each other in a long time please know if anything is needed dont hesitate. From the Simpson family and Nash Ems we are truly sorry and God Bless!!

    James Simpson & Family

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  183. Oh, sweet mommy. my heart is hurting so very badly for you right now. My little guy is 6 months and since he has been rolling over and sleeping on his tummy, this is a fear. I am so sorry that you are living this nightmare. I will be thinking of you a lot and every time I do I will pray that God gives you the strength to get through this. It just isn't fair.

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  184. Lindsay - You don't know me, I came here from Patrice's blog. My heart is breaking for you right now. I am so sorry that you are living every mother's worst nightmare. It sounds like little Ayden was a really special little guy, and I'm so sorry you didn't get the chance to spend more time with him. You will be in my prayers.

    ~Amy

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  185. I am so sorry. I will be praying for your family.

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  186. So very sorry that you lost your perfectly beautiful baby boy. Praying for all of you!!

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  187. My heart is breaking for you. Please know that you are in my prayers.

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  188. Wow. I don't know what to say except that I will pray for you. It's so hard to understand why things like this happen.

    I hope peace finds you soon.

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  189. Dear Lindsay, I am sorry that I did not get to speak to you today. It is just so hard for me still. Even though I have had 3 miscariages and lost a husband of 27 years I still can not imagine the pain of losing a child. There is no understanding this and the questions will never be answered atleast not while we are still here. But I do understand the feelings... why, why now, what made God think I could handle this, this is not what was supposed to happen....
    I am praying for peace for you and Jeremy as the days pass and the reality of your loss sets in. You will get through this and on the days when you feel so weak God will be there to make you strong. Even though your heart will never fully heal from the loss, God's grace will remind you that you will see your sweet baby boy again....forever.

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  190. This is sooo horrible!!! I cant even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. This is my WORST fear. I have always said that I hope god knows I can not take loosing a child. Hearing about you loosing your little man is almost too much for me to bear. We will never know why god does things that he does. I know that god never takes anyone until they have forfilled all the things that he had intended for them to do in their life. It is amazing to me that you little man did all of this in just 4 months, when it takes most of us a lifetime!!! ( I feel like in a lifetime I could never do all god has in store for me to do) I am praying for you every day. You are the soo strong to be able to post about this!!! Im with you!!!!

    Lindsay

    mkaylindsay@yahoo.com

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  191. So, so sorry. Praying that God give you strength and peace. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers

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  192. I know you don't know me, but I am so, so sorry for you loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  193. BLESS YOU HEARTS. THERE ARE NO HUMAN WORDS OR DEEDS THAT TAKE THAT LOSS AND PAIN AWAY. GOD WE SERVE A GREAT GOD HOW CAN GIVE YOU PEACE AND HEAL YOUR HEART. MY FAMILY WILL PRAY FOR YOU.
    THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR MEMORIES OF AYDEN ON YOUR BLOG. PLEASE KNOW THAT PEOPLE WILL WALK WITH YOU SO YOUR NOT ALONE. GOD BLESS YOU AND BRING YOU HIS LOVING MERCY.

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  194. Lindsay, My heart breaks for you. May God give you peace and give you strength, especially for the next few days and then after. I will be praying for you.

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  195. I found you from the Williams family blog. Just wanted you to know we are praying for you in Oklahoma. May God give you peace as you go through this unbearable time.

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  196. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray for peace during this horrible time. God is with you and has Ayden in his arms.

    Praying for you and your family...

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  197. I linked here through Kim's blog. Oh, Lindsay... I cannot imagine the pain. I have no words of wisdom. All I know is that God has told us to rest in Him (okay, weird... as I typed that I noticed that the word verification for me below is "restwell"). May He who gives and takes away be the One to whom you run for comfort.

    Thank you for sharing about Ayden.

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