What a week...

Sorry blog world. I have been terrible about updating my blog lately. And I have been in desperate need of some writing therapy, but time...these days...isn't something I don't have a lot of.

Let's break it down:

New job = new content to learn and plan for, new resources, having to plan all new lesson plans and read up on material I have never read so I can determine what I will teach and in what order, stress because I've never taught this grade and I don't really understand middle schoolers and what they need as far as learning goes (I'm picking it up as I go...and I hate that!), trying out said lessons...hoping my kids are receptive and actually learning something they didn't already, balancing duties with teaching and deadline after deadline quickly approaching (and I'm way, way behind!!), and trying to wrangle a very, very loud, rowdy, disrespectful bunch of students (only one class). A lot of time, energy, and tears have been put into this past week, and I feel so beaten down.

I have caught my first cold of the school year. To be expected, I guess. Collen caught it, too, so we are sharing a cold...fun times. The only thing that works for me when I have a cold is Nyquil, but that means Jeremy has to get up with Collen when he gets up in the middle of the night (yes...he's one...and he still gets up...several times). I, apparently, slept through a very long night last night with Collen. Poor thing(s)....

On the other side of things - please pray for my cousin, her husband and their family. Her husband's liver is failing, and it is looking like he could pass away at any time. Words can't begin to express the heartache I feel for them all. I hurt for my cousin for losing her husband, and I just ache and hurt for their children - 7 and 5 - who will lose their father much, much too young. It's just not fair. I don't understand it.... Please pray for them to find comfort and peace in such a difficult time. Chris has been my buddy since he and my cousin got married. He always shared my love of old movies, and we would often talk about musicals and good, good music. He always encouraged me and made me laugh....I always loved being around him. He completes my cousin like no one else can, and I can't imagine the pain she is feeling...knowing that her time with him is so limited. Please, please pray.....I know they will feel them.

I hope you are all doing well and have had a good week. I'm trying to keep a positive perspective. Although, this week, a very negative point of view has crept in. I have yelled at my students...I have lowered my expectations....and I have been very impatient. Love is not any of these things (although, I realize there has to be structure and discipline in a classroom), and I'm hoping that I can get to a point with one class where they can actually see that I do care about them....and that they can understand why I'm so hard on them. For now, we're going to have to push through with frustration and tough love....ugh...such a hard job. But very rewarding in the end...