It has been 3 years....
3 years since I told him goodnight for the last time.
3 years since he slept on my chest and I soaked in those sweet baby sighs in the middle of the night.
3 years, 3 months, and 27 days since he was born. And tomorrow is the day we said goodbye. The day we never, ever imagined would happen and at times seems like a dream.
I find myself sometimes caught in between reality and that "dream." Was he really here? Were we really that blissfully happy and naive? Did we really experience the death of a child? And then, it all slaps me in the face oh so gracefully. I know it happened because I feel the sting of it every single day.
It hurts now like it did then.
My heart aches and breaks and shatters still.
It has been 3 years, BUT....we are 3 years closer to him. 3 years closer to eternity. Every year without him is one step closer to being together again. That doesn't make it hurt any less, but it definitely makes the hope that much sweeter.