As you can see, he was not shy at all. The last picture is actually one of the first we saw. There was no question that he is a boy.Going to this ultrasound appointment of course took me back to Ayden's ultrasound. I watched Collen squirm around, and I was astounded at how different the two of them are. Ayden was so laid back....and he wasn't going to show us anything. He was perfectly content to just hang out and go at his own pace. Collen's pace seems to be much faster....definitely an energetic little guy.
As exciting as this is, it's very hard. It's difficult for me to imagine loving Collen with the same intensity as I love Ayden. Don't get me wrong, I already love Collen to pieces! But, I've only ever had one child....one baby...and then I had to deal with losing him. So, he is such a HUGE part of my heart...and me in general. It's just hard to balance it all....but I know I will once he's here.
A lot of people have asked if we are going to have a baby shower. Yes. Some may see that as kind of selfish, but it's different. The situation is completely different. Hand-me-downs are one thing when your family is complete....but ours is not, and the owner of those hand-me-downs is no longer here. I can't look at Ayden's things as anyone else's but his. Even the clothes he never wore.....I still see them as Ayden's...no one else's. It wouldn't be fair to Collen to put him in Ayden's clothes and to use Ayden's things because all I would see is his brother. It would just be hurtful for all of us. So, we hope to do something special with Ayden's clothes. People have mentioned doing a quilt, and I love that idea. So, we hope to do that at some point. The next hurdle will be actually changing out the nursery. I don't want to take down Ayden's things.....I don't want to box it up. I hope the house sells before we have to do that so we can have another reason for boxing it all up, and we can start fresh in a new house....in a new room.
I wish we didn't have to think about all of this.
Collen is so loved....and he is SO very wanted and adored. Thanks for sharing in our joy...grief...excitement...pain...etc. Can't wait to meet Collen and introduce him to you all soon.
Congratulations Lindsay to you and your hubby!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Lisa
Collen might just be a dancer when he grows up! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you'd feel about this but, regardless of where you redo the nursery (this home or a new one) maybe you could have one wall with Ayden's stuff - decorations, pictures, etc. that are in his room now - so Collen will see his big brother from the very first moment he comes home. Does it make sense how I wrote it?
All the best to your family.
So completely understandable. Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteI am sending you a hug! Glad yo meet the newest Jones. . . we all miss Ayden.
ReplyDeleteCongrats! :O) We can't wait to see pictures of him in a few more months! :O)
ReplyDeletePraying for a good rest of the pregnancy!!!
Congratulations, Lindsay & Jeremy! I'm thinking of and praying for you and your entire family each and every day. Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteAmanda M.
Thanks for sharing these beautiful ultrasound pictures of Collen! I will say a prayer that you can start fresh in a new house, as I can't even imagine how hard that would be for you guys.
ReplyDeletecongrats!
ReplyDeleteCollen is beautiful! Be sure to keep just one or two of Ayden's things so that if you ever do decide to do a hand me down, it will be with specific, special items. Something that Collen will be able to cherish as he grows knowing that it was an outfit that he and his brother both wore. It's just a thought and sorry if it's out of place - if it never feels right, then that's so totally understandable as well.
ReplyDeleteOh, and please consider doing a small virtual baby shower so some of us strangers who have been following along and have come to care so much can send a little something to that new handsome bundle you have in the oven.
Warm hugs,
Christena
It was so neat to see Ayden's brother. I don't usually post much but I felt I MUST tell you I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my second child. "How in the world could I ever find as much love for my unborn that I have for my first?". My question was answered within minutes of her being born.
ReplyDeleteI think there should be an Ayden wall in there. Choose some of the most prized things and create a huge shelving unit or shadow box for it all. It will be beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you will feel after you have Collen, but maybe some thoughts could change. We once had twins to adopt (NOTHING EVEN THAT CAN COMPARE to what you had with Ayden) but after a while, I was able to take their things I bought (most of their things) and actually see my next two adopted children with those items and clothes.
I'm praying for you all the time. :)
Congrats on your newest son.