I sat at work today, during my planning period, trying to push it from my mind, but I couldn't. I was doing exactly what I was doing when my whole world came crashing down. In that moment, I felt so lost. I'm lost without Ayden. I'm a mother without her child. I don't know how people expect me to act, but I do know that I go through every day feeling so foreign and disconnected. I don't belong here. I belong with him.
5 months doesn't seem like a long time, but it's more than an eternity.
Praying for you!
ReplyDelete5 months later and I still can't imagine your pain. I wish I had words of comfort but I'm sure there really aren't any. Hugs and prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteAmy
My heart breaks for you. I pray that one day your heart won't feel so broken. I pray that one day you can make it through a day without tears & I pray for the day you get to see Ayden again to hug, kiss & hold him.. & I know that with my prayers & everyone else who prays for you God will listen & God will follow through.
ReplyDeleteRemembering Ayden with you and for you. His little videos are so precious and I know you will treasure them always. His life had meaning. His life had worth. I am sorry you have to travel this journey without him in your arms, but I KNOW he will always be in your heart. Love-
ReplyDeletesaying a special prayer for you. not even close to the same situation, but I am young with you... I lost my mom four years ago today, so today I pray and grieve with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I guess I never realized how recent your loss is. *big* HUGS
ReplyDeleteHolding you in my heart...
ReplyDeleteI will be hitting the 5 month mark next week - I agree it feels like an eternity.
ReplyDeleteDear Lindsay ~ I don't think anyone expects you to act or behave in any particular way. You have already had your most precious, baby boy tragically taken from you. Marking/honouring milestones how you feel is best for you is the only right way to cope. Your love and devotion to Ayden always shines through your words. Your very brave openess about your now broken heart at his loss is a lesson to us all. Thinking of you in a little piece of England that also remembers your dear little son. xx
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
ReplyDelete((hugs)) Im always thinking of you and Ayden...and of course lifting you up in prayer.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you from MI
I know what you mean. Every month seems like a lifetime but the memories are still so fresh, like it was yesterday. Praying for you. *HUGS*
ReplyDeleteLove you Lindsay! Praying for you guys. I can't believe it has been 5 months. You're such an awesome Woman and I know God has his hand on you and Jeremy.
ReplyDeletegrief is cruel that way, it is a lifetime and a second all at once. i am sending you so many prayers for strength. every time i see ayden's picture i both smile, and feel my heart break for you. such a beautiful child...
ReplyDeleteI continue to pray for you!
ReplyDeleteI hope life is going well at work, as well.