You wonderful readers....

I just wanted to offer a way overdue thank you to all of you who frequent my blog and leave such wonderful, sweet, encouraging comments. I know that my blog isn't always the easiest to read and that it would be simpler for you to just click that little red "x" in the top right of your screen and never return. But you do return...... I wish I could thank you all in person with a big hug, but since I can't do that, just imagine getting a big bear hug from me (ask my friend, Connie, I can give some dynomite hugs....complete with becoming airborne at times....).

Many of you have commented on Ayden's coming birthday. It's a day I'm looking forward to yet dreading at the same time. No parent should endure the fear of her child's birthday, but I am afraid. I don't know what to expect of myself and my emotions that day. I don't know how I will react. I just want to celebrate my baby boy the way I should be able to - with him here, eating his first birthday cake, getting his first birthday gifts, enjoying being a kid who is so very loved by everyone around him. I don't know how to get through that day without becoming a complete mess at the thought that I'll never sing Happy Birthday to him.

The past few days have been tough. I haven't shown it outwardly (except for today when Jeremy experienced a mini-breakdown in the car), but I have been to the point of nearly overflowing several times.....once being in class as my students were working. My mind drifted off, and there I was....near tears...almost unable to hold myself together....and there are 25 students in front of me. ughh.....

Thank you to Sara, who is currently in Hawaii (I'm so very jealous...), for sending me this beautiful picture. Ayden seemed to enjoy the beach when we took him (Thank God we did those things with him before he left us....), so I'm sure he would have enjoyed seeing this beautiful sight.

And thank you also to the rest of you who have sent emails, gifts, and have made comments of encouragement and comfort. The next few days....well, really, the next 4 months are going to be tougher than usual (if that's possible). Thank you for your continued support, prayers, and messages of hope. You guys have truly helped me along this weaving road of grief, and with every bump and turn, you're there to keep pushing us forward. You have been my support and help....and I am forever grateful for it.



  1. You looked really cute today. I hope you feel my prayers this week. You deserve so many blessings, and I know they're coming. God is amazing. He's willing to get down in the dirt with us.

    Blessings and love,

  2. You dont know me, but im following and thinking of you, ayden and your family as a whole. I miss Ayden and i never even knew him...:(...u are in my thoughts. also, u mentioned u took Ayden to the beach where did u guy go?
    ( is my email if you ever feel like responding.)

  3. Happy Birthday to you tomorrow. Your life is to be celebrated, you are wonderfully made. You are a good person, a good mother, a good partner, a good friend and a good teacher! Happy birthday :)

  4. I may not always comment but I do ALWAYS read. I will be thinking of you and praying for strength tomorrow as you celebrate Aydens birthday. I pray God wraps his loving comforting arms around you.

  5. Lindsay and Jeremy,

    I am praying for you both today...mostly because today is probably just as hard for you as tomorrow will be. The dreading is awful.

    I am thinking of Ayden and his sweet smile and laugh that you have shared with us on your blog. We are blessed to have at least known him in this way...even if we never met him in person.(at least not yet)

    Whether you stay in bed all day tomorrow or try to smile as you imagine how he would have been enjoying his special day, just go easy on yourselves.

    From our human perspective, there is nothing right about our children being gone. It isn't okay and it is impossible to pretend that it is. And, right or wrong, the only thing that puts a smile on my face is to imagine Mark in heaven with Jesus and with all of the other sweet children that have been taken from us too soon. Maybe...just maybe...Mark and Ayden are together right now playing together. I hope so.

    Take care,

  6. I taught sixth grade for three years while dealing with infertility and pregnancy losses and while watching coworkers have their own babies. It was tough at times. More than once I had to leave the room to regain my composure after letting my mind drift to dark places about what was going on in my life. Nothing will replace your loss or fill the hole in your heart but I must reaffirm that as time goes by the sadness sifts down like chaff to leave just the sweetness of the memories that you cherish.

  7. I hope you find a way to celebrate Aydens life tomorrow, I know it will be tough. Thinking of you

  8. You, Jeremy and sweet Ayden are the wonderful ones. But, you do have some really nice people who follow your blog, I can tell they truly care for the three of you. Ayden sure has touched many people's hearts.

    I know this is a hard time, I wish I could be there tomorrow to give you a hug. Ayden's very important life will be celebrated here in Texas tomorrow, and he will be on my mind even more than normal - the whole day! I sure do love that little guy!!

    Always in my thoughts and prayers - love y'all - Kelley

  9. We are always praying for you and Jeremy as you continue to push forward and grow in your faith in the process. We can't imagine how this week will be for you, but we will be thinking of you a lot/praying for you even more. I love reading to see how things are going with your life, even if it's tough reading and look forward to hearing about Collen also as you will welcome him into the world before we know it. Time flies by so fast.

  10. Happy Birthday! My prayers are with you this week. I pray that God provides you with strength and peace. Your strength and faith amaze me with every blog entry I read.

    God Bless!

  11. Thinking of you, Jeremy and Ayden today and tomorrow. My twin girls were born just the day before your sweet Ayden. I think about how differently you will celebrate his birthday and my heart aches for you. I don't have anything to say that will change things or even make them better, but know that many of your blog readers are here and we continue to support you.

  12. Hello Lindsay! I am one of those readers who has read your blog for months, prayed for you often and continue to be amazed by your honesty and strength. Please know that I will be thinking about you tomorrow and wishing Ayden a very happy birthday! Can't wait to see pictures of sweet baby Collen in a few months!

  13. I follow your blog, but have not left a comment before. Your story has really touched me. I will say a prayer for you tonight - I will pray that God gives you the strength to get through these few days, few weeks, few months, and beyond. Happy Birthday Ayden. XOXO

  14. Thinking of your sweet family today and always. Praying each and every day for you strength.

  15. I love the pics of his name!