Short but so sweet....

So, I haven't been so secretive about the fact that I have been using ambien to help me sleep. I can tell you, I am so glad I let everyone talk me into it. I have definitely needed the help falling asleep. However, I really don't like how groggy it makes me in the mornings. I will wake up around 9, but I won't get out of the bed until close to 11 because I'm so groggy. Well, I now have one ambien left. I didn't want to go cold turkey....take the last one and then the next night have nothing. So, I went and got an over-the-counter sleep aid, and I have melatonin in case I don't like the over-the-counter kind. I tried the over-the-counter last night, and it went okay. I woke up at 4 and I was wide awake, but I managed to get myself back to sleep. I woke up around 7:30, when Jeremy was leaving....went back to sleep....finally woke up around 10. From about 8-10, though, I was in and out of sleep....too groggy to actually get up. I need to start going to bed earlier; I think that will help. I'm not even going to tell you what time I usually go to bed....it's late.

I dreamt of Ayden all night long last night. I love dreaming of him because, in a way, I get him back for that short period of time. In my dreams, it was much like dreams I've mentioned before. I felt puzzled about why he was able to be there with me because I knew he wasn't supposed to be, but as with past dreams....I just went with it and took advantage while I could. I remember him being so happy.....and me being thrilled out of my mind. I just held him...the entire time....I never let go of him in my dreams. I remember a funny moment. I was holding him, and I looked at Jeremy and said, "When was the last time he pooped?" And then I looked at Ayden, and I said, "Well, I think you're going right now aren't you?" And it just came and came....and it was all over my hands. I remember just laughing and laughing, and Ayden was laughing too. At one point, we were around other people, and I remember them being so surprised to see him, but it wasn't an unnatural surprise; it was a super-excited, so happy that he's back kind of emotion. As I was finally waking up, I remember I wasn't holding him, but I could hear him....and as I woke up, all I could hear was his laughter. How sweet....but sad at the same time. I love having dreams about him, but they make me miss him more (if that's even possible).

Well, that's all for now. I have to start my day....