A few months ago, I was visiting with Cliff and Jill and I was telling them about something that had been running through my mind. At that point in my grief, I was very angry.....but I didn't know how to handle the anger. I was angry at God, angry at myself, angry at the circumstances, just angry. A scene from a movie kept popping into my mind - the scene from Steel Magnolias where M'Lynn keeps saying, "I'm so mad I don't know what to do! ; I want to know WHY!!! ; I'm so mad! I want to hit something...I want to hit it hard!" I could feel the rage from that moment, and I was living those words. I realize it's just a movie, but that movie is such an honest portrayal of reality. As I shared all of this with Cliff and Jill, Cliff suggested that I share it on my a way of recording that stage of my grief. I wasn't sure I was ready to get that personal, yet.

For the longest time, I wanted to watch Steel Magnolias, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get through it, and I didn't want it to push me into a self-inflicted meltdown. So, today I found the scene on You Tube. I watched it....and cried....and then laughed. Each time I imagined this scene, I felt her anger....but then I felt the laughter from the second half of the scene. It was uplifting to feel such grief and rage but then to know that laughter and hope still remain. As I watched the clip, I could so relate. As her friends walk up, they comment on how beautiful the service and the flowers were and how she should feel comforted that her daughter is now in Heaven. So many people told us the same things....the things you're supposed to say. My reaction was much like hers - I didn't want to hear those things. I couldn't find comfort in anything except my son....and I had just had to let him go. I had to watch him leave us. How do you find comfort out of that? In that moment - there is none. It only comes with time.

Anyway, I've pasted the clip below. Watch it, appreciate it, cry and laugh. It's real, and so many of us have been there....and continue to feel the blow of grief. And forgive the instance of cursing....if I could cut the clip, I would. Just know I don't condone the profanity....



  1. This scene is what cements this movie as one of the most honest stories of women and what we deal with. It rocks me to my core and I can't imagine what it does to you.

    It remains in my top 10 favorites of all time--and when I need a complete girl fit (laugh, cry, laugh, cry some more) it never fails me!

  2. This is one of my all time favorites! Laughter through tears is also my favorite emotion. *HUGS*

  3. That scene is one of my favorite ones- when I am angry about something. . . It is ok to be angry, that is one of the emotions God gave us.

  4. My name is Misty, and this is my first visit here. I lost my son Isaac 70 minutes after full term birth on April 8th of last year.

    I, too, went through a stage of anger - - mine lasted for a spell, as well. I understand. I believe it's all part of the process, and I feel for you...

    xo Misty

  5. Dolly Parton's character said a little quote at the end that sticks with me- something about laughter through tears being her favorite. It always seems as though strong emotions come hand in hand.... the times we're laughing so hard that suddenly we're bawling without knowing why, the times our tears turn to hilarity. I think God made us to feel laughter through tears for some reason... anyway, thanks for sharing where you're at. Praying for you.

  6. I love Steal Magnolias! It is & will always be one of my favorite movies!

    I love reading your blog & hearing about your strength & ability to handle so much!

    Because I love & enjoy your blog so much I have an award for you on my page :-)

  7. The line that gets me is "I could jog to Texas and back, but my daughter can't. She never could." I HATE that my daughter could never do the things that I take for granted.

  8. this is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time. I've watched it a million times and it has never failed to bring tears to my eyes... Sally field is amazing in this part.