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A blog-reader commented, recommending that I visit this blog. This one post left me so encouraged, so I thought I would share it with all of you...especially those of you who know how important it is to acknowledge the number of children you have when one is no longer here...

http://fourgirlsonegod.blogspot.com/2010/05/mom-of-four-three.html

I am a mother of TWO - two beautiful boys. God has shown me so much through both of them, and I long for the day when we will all be together as a whole family.

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Also, a big, HUGE, gigantic thank you to Amy from AZ! She knows why I'm thanking her. :) Thank you so very much. I was humbled when I realized who had sent them. Could you possibly email me your mailing address so I can send you a real thank you card? :) Thanks for thinking of us and of Collen.

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AND...one more thing. Today, I visited the Accidental Artist once again to get some painting therapy in. I went with a friend of mine, and I thoroughly enjoyed some girl time. I did bubble paint for the first time. It was rather interesting. I had to channel my inner 5-year-old and blow bubbles in a cup until it overflowed onto the pottery. The process was a tad embarassing, but the outcome was pretty neat. I'll post pictures soon. I was pleased with my burst of creativity - it doesn't happen often. While we were there, THE question came up. Ugh... "How old is your 1st child?" Me: "Umm....well...." Lady: "Young?" Me: "Noooo....uummm...." Lady: continues on with her thought without even realizing what was going on. I have yet to answer that question with my intended answer. The person either just continues talking or the way the question is asked doesn't easily lead into the answer. I know it's coming, though.

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Baby dedication tomorrow at church. I plan on going. While I don't know what my reaction will be, I want to be there to rejoice with our church family. It's uplifting to see families committing to raise their children in the ways of the Lord. And, while we won't get to actually participate tomorrow, we know that we have committed to raising our children as godly, faithful parents. We don't need a special service to feel validated - nor do the parents participating tomorrow. So, while we didn't make a public commitment, in front of friends and family, there is no doubting that that was our intent from the start. As mentioned in an earlier post, Ayden was with us at last year's dedication service, and we didn't get to participate, but I remember repeating after those parents that day.....so he was part of a service....and I love that I have that memory with him.
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Lastly, this is my last full week with my students. I have such mixed emotions. I'm excited for them and all that the future holds for them. They are a great group of students (or kids, as I call them. They are "my kids.") I wouldn't have come back this semester if I hadn't known I would be teaching them. They made every day worth looking forward to, and they continue to be a source of comfort and encouragement. So, this week will be bittersweet. They will finish their senior projects on Thursday by giving their speeches in front of community judges. They're all so nervous, but I think they're going to do great! I'm so proud of them, and I'm honored to have been able to be a part of this part of their high school career. I hope I've been an impact in some small way. I've felt so limited this semester - like I could only give so much. Most days, I felt like I was running on fumes....just doing my best to make it through the day. I often apologized to them for not being able to give them the full "Mrs. Jones experience." They graciously understand, though. They have been so giving, kind, compassionate, and patient with me.....and for that, I am so appreciative. I'll miss them so much. However, they will remain with me forever. When I think back to this past year, I will always think of them and the strength they gave me each and every day. I hope they will remember me for more than the tragedy they've had to watch me endure, but I also hope that they've been able to gain something by seeing me through it all. They knew me before all of this, so I hope they'll hold on to the good and the bad and understand how both can shape a person in a tremendous way. So proud of you class of 2010!



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3 comments:

  1. Whew! Reading that made me tired! :)

    Friend, you are brave and inspiring going to that baby dedication.

    Always, always praying for you!

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  2. http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/05/24/pregnancy.grief.loss/index.html?hpt=C2

    i saw this article and immediately thought of you!

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  3. Address sent. I'm glad it made it there. Your creativity sounded like fun. I hope it helped. I will be thinking of you a the baby dedication and I know Ayden will be there with you.

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