At a loss...


22 comments
This week, Collen has me at a loss. Every day this week, he will nurse around 1ish in the afternoon and then won't nurse again until around 7pm. That's 6 hours....SIX! He normally eats every 2-2.5 hours. Here's his routine up until that point:

3ish in the morning - up to eat...then back to sleep.

5:30ish - up to eat...then back to sleep.

8am - awake, happy, kicking around - might eat.

9am - will likely eat...then go down for another nap.

10:30ish - awake again

12:30-1pm - eats again...awake for a little while...then takes another nap.

1:30pm - 7pm - various awake and sleep cycles. Will refuse to nurse by screaming when offered. Can be distracted by playing on his mat, swinging in the swing, walking around, and may sleep off and on in 30 minute intervals. All throughout this period, though, there are periods of intense crying.....frustrating and heart breaking.

7pm - finally discovers he's starving. The past two nights, I've had to pump (like I said...SIX hours...sheesh...) and give him a bottle. I don't want him to get used to a bottle, though. :/

After this, he's usually fine, and by 9pm, he's "down for the night."


This just started this week, and I have no idea what it could be. I mean, it could be colic...but I thought that was something that they outgrew as time went by...not something that just pops up 3 months into life. I've tried to figure out if it's something I've eaten, but I haven't changed my diet. I don't think it's a gas problem...although all the crying doesn't help with that because it adds gas to the situation. Could be be dropping a feeding? Seems odd since he's only 12 weeks old.

I. Just. Don't. Know.

Ayden did this, too...right around this time. To say it doesn't worry me a little bit would be a huge understatement. I like that my boys are similar, but when Collen displays a behavior that Ayden also displayed, I start to get scared.....just because SIDS is so mysterious and theories are pointing to issues with the brain and such. Any kind of change in behavior is going to be a little concerning for me....I don't like that, but it's just the way it is.

If you have ANY suggestions....I'm open to them. At this point, we've had 4 days of this when normally, he's happy and eating as he should be.

I'm a very patient person, and I remain calm, but is certainly frustratingly calm. It's hard not to take it personal when your child seems to be refusing you, but I know it isn't "me"....I just wish I could fix it.

I'm going to try to change up our morning routine tomorrow and see if that changes anything. He seems to sleep A LOT in the morning, and I think that's partly because I let him stay in our bed in the mornings. As a newborn, he slept a lot in the mornings, but he's transitioning out of that stage, and I'm thinking it's throwing him for a loop. We'll see....

Any advice is welcome. Thanks!

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22 comments:

  1. Hey Lindsey,

    My son had a very similar problem, only I was not nursing him. It turned out he had acid reflux and certain times of the day it bothered him worse than others. He would refuse the bottle and scream and cry and throw a fit. He was on Zantac from then on and it got better, but did not go away until he was completey on solid foods. I'm not sure if this is what is up with Collen, but I wanted to share with you what my son, Caleb had and the reason for him refusing to eat. He might just simply not be hungry that part of the day and have enough nutrients stocked up to last him until later in the evening. I know it's hard, but try not to stress. Give your Pediatrician a call or a lactation consultant and they should be able to guide you and figure out the problem - if there is one. Best of luck to you and your beautiful baby boy. I'll say a prayer.

    ~Marla

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  2. I am a registered nurse and have been taking care of infants for over 6 years. I also have three young sons of my own. I'd say 75% of the babies I have dealt with (my own included) have what we refer to as the witching hour. It is usually in the early evening, and there is simply nothing that will make them happy. It isn't you, and there seems to be no "quick fix". It is just a stage. Maybe knowing that will easy your mind!

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  3. Lily would scream from 3:36 (on the dot) until 8:30pm every afternoon for about 2 months (seems like she started around 6 weeks) until one day she quit crying.

    We changed her formula, held her, put her down, kept lights on, turned lights off--tried everything in our power to make her stop crying.

    I know it's scary and frustrating--and I can't imagine having Ayden's past behaviors that on top of that.

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  4. It looks like he is nursing at night like he should be during the day and may have his cycle messed up. Try not to nurse so much at night. My youngest did this and I had to push times back gradually for a few days to get her back on track! Good luck! I love your new pantry by the way! It is adorable!

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  5. My first thought was colic...And yes, it can creep in around this age. My first had it for 6 weeks right around 3 months old. NOT FUN.

    Gripe Water. Have you heard of it? I swear by it for my babies...You can find it online or at Whole Foods. It's a miracle worker!

    Good luck! And I can totally understand your fears...Praying for a peaceful heart.

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  6. This happened with my daughter and a lactation consultant and her pediatrician told me she was on a "nursing strike". (Which totally helped me laugh in the midst of complete frustration...I just imagined her with a little sign, picketing for 'no more nursing' HA!) She got over it after about 2 weeks and never had an issue again. I still to this day (she'll be 3 in January) have no clue what that was about. I just kept attempting to nurse and them pumping...it was so draining and frustrating but she did get back on track. It definitely could be that he isn't hungry or that he is eating a lot faster. My ped. said that sometimes b/c they are so little we are trying to feed them a thanksgiving meal 8 times a day and they just refuse it after awhile b/c they literally aren't hungry. She also told me they won't let themselves starve so it will work out. Prayers that he gets over this quickly but try to stay strong. Good luck!

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  7. I think that at his age, eating every 2-2.5 hours is in excess. I would try to get him to go at least 3 hours during the day. Have you introduced solids at all. My fourth child started cutting out feedings on his own around 4 months so we started some solid by 6.5 months he absolutely refused to nurse or take a bottle. He went straight to a sippy cup. I stressed horribly, but doctor was not even mildly concerned. He was right, all my stress was for nothing. A call to to your ped will likely help to ease your mind.

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  8. I honestly don't remember when my baby started having her screaming sessions in the early evenings, but I do know that something called "Colic Calm" worked wonders for her. It's all-natural and I found out about (and ordered) it on the internet. Maybe you could Google it and see if it's something you want to try. Just FYI though: even though it helped my baby a TON, they don't tell you that because one of the ingredients is vegetable-based charcoal (my baby was gassy and had indigestion and charcoal soaks up/neutralizes whatever is hurting their belly), the liquid itself is black. That meant it had some stain power. It's easy to work around and I'd still get it if I had to do things over, but it just would have been nice if I'd known beforehand. Hope you get some more helpful advice on here.

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  9. My son did the same thing around this age for about 3 months or so. Nothing would console him. He'd start it around 4:oo and it would go until bedtime. It was a very hard time. He will outgrow it.

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  10. Hi,
    I am new to your blog, but I also have an infant, she is almost 11 weeks and has started to fall into a similar pattern. Everyone I talk to say it's just Colic, and that its very common around this age. Unfortunately it might last a while now that it's started. Her fussy time is in the late afternoon. The weird thing is that she tires herself out so much from crying that it's actually helping her sleep through the night.

    Things that sort of work to calm her:
    Baby massage, there is one called the "I love you" massage, look it up on you tube, it works wonders.

    Mylicon drops

    dark lighting and quiet or the sound of running water

    a warm bath.


    Good luck, I feel ya! And by the way, I really enjoy reading your blog. I'm not a baby loss mom, but you sure are an inspiration for those who are trying to persevere through any difficult situation.

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  11. Hi,
    I am new to your blog, but I also have an infant, she is almost 11 weeks and has started to fall into a similar pattern. Everyone I talk to say it's just Colic, and that its very common around this age. Unfortunately it might last a while now that it's started. Her fussy time is in the late afternoon. The weird thing is that she tires herself out so much from crying that it's actually helping her sleep through the night.

    Things that sort of work to calm her:
    Baby massage, there is one called the "I love you" massage, look it up on you tube, it works wonders.

    Mylicon drops

    dark lighting and quiet or the sound of running water

    a warm bath.


    Good luck, I feel ya! And by the way, I really enjoy reading your blog. I'm not a baby loss mom, but you sure are an inspiration for those who are trying to persevere through any difficult situation.

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  12. My son had a very similar problem when he was between 8-10 weeks old. Except his crying time was from 10pm-2 or 3am. Nothing seemed to help. I finally started just leaving him in his crib for a few minutes at a time & that seemed to help. I think he was getting tired of being held all the time! It all stopped as quickly as it started. Good luck!

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  13. Bless your heart.... Collen...cooperate with mommy!
    xoxoxo

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  14. Hi, Lindsey my little one now 18 mtns did the exact same thing around 3 mths. I worried about him not eating in between those hours, and had inconsolable crying phases. It could be colic, I gave my son mylicon drops before the feeding and it helped him. Every babies different so just be careful when trying anything, there is gripe water which is all natural, but some babies are sensitive and could react badly to herbs. Just go with your mommy instincts and hope you find why his acting this way.

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  15. We just went through this last month. Babies go through a growth spurt around 3 months of age. My daughter had been the sweetest, happiest, best sleeper for the first 3 months and then BAM...not sleeping well, eating a bunch then not eating for long periods of time, being really fussy etc. It lasted for about a week or so. The longest week EVER :) I swore up and down she was teething. We even bought teething gel. But no, just a growth spurt. She is much better now and sleeping through the night most of the time. He will get better. I breastfeed too so I know how worried you are getting with the extended times of not eating. I have a pump and when she is going through her long periods of sleeping I will pump. It gives me relief from engorgment and makes sure my supply stays up.

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  16. My second baby (Bradley) had really bad colic. It came on when he was only 3 or 4 weeks old and lasted a few months. He was doing better around 5 months. He also had reflux, issues with my breastmilk and weight gain issues. When he was around 2 or 2 1/2 months old I felt like his nursing was getting worse. He was eliminating feedings but then feeding like we'd been starving him after crying all day. He always cried and never was a sleeper but the not wanting to eat thing was new. I took him into the pediatrician convinced that there must be something more than colic wrong with him. We discovered he was teething. I hadn't even looked at his gums because teething so early hadn't occured to me. He had 2 teeth by the time he was 3 months old and they just kept coming after that! You may have already checked his mouth out, but there is an idea if you haven't! Our firtborn didn't get her first tooth until 9 mths. but our second son also had 2 teeth come in between the second and third month and he reacted the same way Bradley did. He does not have colic but became very fussy and was not wanting to latch. I can't imagine how much stress this is adding. I hope things get better soon!
    Love your blog by the way. I've been following your story this past year. You, your husband and your boys are always in our thoughts and prayers!

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  17. Just adding my voice to all those saying 1) witching hour, 2) nursing strike, and 3) potential colic. I have no surefire answers but figured it helps to have a lot of people saying, "I've been there" to ease your mind a bit.

    My daughter was always a fussy infant, but she seriously hit her stride at three months. It was tough, to say the least, and she was always at her worst in late afternoon. She'd refuse to nurse, then get hungry, which made her angry, which made her too worked up to eat, repeat repeat. Usually the nursing strikes would last a few days at a time and only be during certain times of the day, so it's not as if she was starving. Mylicon drops did nothing for her, but Baby's Bliss gripe water did seem to help. She also liked motion, so I did a lot of bouncing around while holding her, swaying, long walks in the stroller, etc. Don't know if it physically made her feel better, but at least it seemed to distract her some.

    Also, there's supposedly a three-month growth spurt when babies emerge from the "fourth trimester," and they're suddenly more in tune with the world around them and routines and such. He could just be going through that adjustment period. If you haven't read "Happiest Baby on the Block" or seen the DVD, I recommend them...they helped a lot with my kids, especially calming them down at bedtime. Good luck!!!

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  18. My ear hurts or I want to sit up like a big boy now and look around instead of lay back and eat

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  19. Check out a La Leche League meeting in your area. Go to http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html and search your state. The moms there are incredibly helpful. The meetings just have a bunch of moms and little ones talking about bf issues and concerns. I'm sure someone will have had the same problem :) My DD had a nursing strike at 15 months - turned out she had Hand, Foot, and Mouth, and her poor little throat was hurting her! Fortunately it only lasted a couple of days - but it was very traumatic for me! Good luck!

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  20. Just remembered something else...I love some of Dr. Sears' methods if you have ever heard of him. He has a TON of suggestions for the exact thing you're talking about - fussiness for no apparent reason. He has lots of soothing positions to hold babies in, suggestions for getting them to sleep, even "baby dancing" techniques where you dance with your baby to calm them (might sound weird but my baby loved it, sometimes it was the only thing that worked). You might already know all this stuff but I wanted to give you the link anyway. Glad Collen had a better day.

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp

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  21. I definitely believe in the "witching hour" idea.
    Nursing strikes are also very common. Don't worry, he's not trying to wean, he'll start nursing again. If you think he's on strike, try not to give him a bottle.
    Listen to your instincts. I think you're right, maybe he's just starting to "wake up to the world" and is ready to check everything out. Change up his routine during the day and see if that helps. This stage will pass. :) Both of my boys went through this at the same age.
    One more idea: It sounds like he's cluster feeding at night...so maybe he doesn't want as much during the day??

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  22. Lindsey, All three of my boys did this around the same age. I breast fed 2 of them and bottled fed 1. I think it is just a stage that they go through around that age. They learn how to fight sleep and they try their best to stay awake. If they eat they know it will make them fall asleep and if they fall asleep they might miss something. He just doesn't want to miss anything.Try not to worry, it just means you have a very smart little boy just like his brother was. Susan Brown

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