I've always been a big believer in intuition. At a young age, I had a strong sense of right and wrong and just having "that feeling." It kept me out of a lot of situations that could have gone badly and could have influenced me in the wrong way.
From my intuition, I've come to appreciate the fine art of listening and responding to the nagging prodding of a feeling you can't shake.
Today, on the way home from lunch, it was just me and Collen. I needed to get him home because it was time for him to eat again. Ayden's spot is on our way home. We were going to stop by last Sunday, but Collen had fallen asleep in the car. Today, I hadn't thought about stopping. As we got closer, something just kept telling me to stop. I started going through the reasons not to stop at that moment: 1. Collen needs to eat. 2. Jeremy's mom is on her way. 3. We can go tomorrow. etc....
The feeling wouldn't cease. So, I did what I always do in those moments. I listened, and I went with what I was feeling. I got Collen out of the car (it had turned into a beautiful afternoon!), and we walked to Ayden's spot. The flowers had been blown around and were looking pretty frazzled. I took the Christmas flowers out and left the red and white hydrangeas I had in there.
Brief side story: In the memorial park, there is a section just for infants. Ayden is in that section, and we have plots across for him that are for Jeremy and myself when we pass. 6 months after we lost Ayden, I was told of a baby boy named Austin who has also been lost to SIDS. I contacted (I think) Austin's mother to give my condolences and offer a listening ear and encouraging heart. We've been in touch ever since. Whenever I visit Ayden, I also visit with Austin. I like to think they're good buddies up in heaven....perhaps playing on a mini-football team. :) Austin's parents have since moved into town, and each time I visit, I wonder if that will be the day we finally meet. Will we visit at the same time?
Back to present day:
As usual, I wondered about Austin's parents....would today be the day we stumble upon each other?
Wouldn't you know it was? Yep! As Collen and I were walking to the car, I see a young couple getting out of their car. The thought pops into my head (is that them?), and I hear my name being called.
Today marked one year since Austin's passing. They had come to visit. I knew that today was Austin's "angelversary", but I didn't want to intrude on their day. We introduced ourselves, I gave Austin's mommy a big hug, and we exchanged chit chat and the promise to get together soon. (We will, guys!!!) And as they walked to visit with their son, I said a small prayer for them.
I'm glad I listened that small voice that kept saying, "Go."
Please say a prayer for Austin's parents. They have many cherished memories, but along with those also come tragic memories when you lose a child. We go through life celebrating and remembering the happy moments, yearly milestones, but when you lose someone you love, especially too soon, you are struck with a yearly reminder of what was lost.....and what should be.