Owen.

Collen was almost an Owen. I loved that the name means Little Warrior. I needed my 2nd baby boy to be a fighter.....because we sure were fighting to keep him with us. We were determined not to lose another child, which is foolish, really, because that decision isn't up to us. But we still needed to feel that fight within us. Ultimately, we decided on Collen, but I still love the name Owen. Perhaps if we have another boy someday....

This is about another sweet baby boy named Owen. Owen is a new friend of Ayden's (I imagine all the children in Heaven are best buddies). Owen is the brother to 3 other little boys...two of which are a part of his threesome. Owen is part of a set of triplets. One afternoon, Owen was laid down in his crib. He rolled to his stomach, and was found unresponsive. His heart was able to be revived, but he wasn't waking up. Owen has fought a long, hard fight for the past week or so, but he is now sitting at the foot (or perhaps in the lap) of Jesus.

When I first heard about this story, my heart broke and tears flooded my eyes. I hate this. I hate that some parents have to experience the death of their child. I hate that death touches children. It hurts most when I think of that....that my child experienced death....and that someone elses's child experienced death.....and someone elses's child WILL experience death. It's one of those things I grapple with so much. I still ask "why"....all the time. I never expect an answer, but I just can't wrap my mind around it. I try...but it's hard to be 100% resolved to just say, "God knows why...so just let it go and trust that He knows best." It's just so hard. I want my son in my arms. I want Owen to be with his parents and brothers again. I want Caden to know her brothers. I want Mark to know his sisters. I want Julius to smile at his Mommy again (happy birthday to Julius tomorrow!) I want all of the people I have met through my blog and our experience to have their children back with them.

Please, please take time to pray for the Bissing family. Here is a link to Melissa's blog. http://bissingfamily.wordpress.com/ She write so eloquently and is able to bring words to feelings I couldn't even begin to express. Her tribute to her son is beautiful. Owen is beautiful. His story is reaching and touching so many. His story has touched me deeply. Please lift up their family as they are facing funeral arrangements, having just held Owen for the last time, and now facing the service that is coming up. Pray that they can find rest....even when the last thing they want to do is to stop moving because once you're still, the pain is just too much to bear. Pray that they can find peace...the peace that only our Father can provide at this time. Pray that they are kind with themselves and allow themselves to grieve....in their own way, and in their own time. Pray for Owen's brothers as this has to be confusing and difficult for them. And continue to pray for families who have lost a child. Years can go by following the loss and it might seem like things are better....but that's only on the outside. The pain doesn't fade. The loss leaves a gaping hole....a void that can never be filled. Life is never the same after this.