New, Old Pictures


One of the saddest parts about dealing with Ayden's death has been accepting the fact that the pictures and videos we have are all we'll ever have. I look at pictures and videos and say, "That was taken 2 days before..." or "I remember everything about that day." I'll forever cherish the memories those pictures and videos hold, but I'll also continue to ask, "Why does this have to be all I have of him?"

These are pictures my mom had on her camera. She had been meaning to get them to me before now, but as you can took a while for her, and me, to be able to look at them.

I opened them for the first time tonight, and these are old, but new (to me), pictures of Ayden. I had never seen them before tonight.

I look at that beautiful, sweet face and am left wondering why a baby so precious had to leave us so soon. It just doesn't make sense.

Ayden LOVED his Curious George doll. We bought it for him in CA. He loved to give George kisses. We made sure he and George were never separated.....even now...he still has George with him.

Our big boy....

He was probably "talking" here. He always made this face when he was cooing and jabbering away.

I love those big, blue eyes....

We love and miss you so much Ayden.....
We can't wait to be with you again.
Soon, Lord....please...soon.....


  1. Thank you for sharing these precious photos! Ayden is such a beautiful boy. And he sure is the spitting image of Jeremy isn't he?!

  2. We all thought he looked more like me at first. But, the more I look at pictures of him and think back to how he changed over the months, the more I see Jeremy in him! Jeremy makes faces now, and I'll think, "Wow...that looked just like Ayden!" I think you're right...he looks like his daddy. :) (I'll take credit for the big blue eyes, though!)

  3. What a beautiful boy. I thought too as I was going through them that he looked a lot like his daddy. Thanks for sharing, Lindsay.

  4. He truly is a gorgeous boy! You and your husband sure make em cute! :)

    As my eyes welled with tears I wondered how hard it was for you to look at these "new old" pictures. It really isnt fair is it?! I hate that about life.

    Thank you for sharing Lindsay. I cant wait to see what little Collen is going to look like!! I bet you cant either :)

  5. I hate that you or anyone has to feel such pain. The unanswered questions must be overwhelming at times. I can’t claim to know how you feel. Yet, I am so glad you know Christ and his promise, that this isn’t the end. You speak of your pain and then you bring it back to Christ. I admire how you continually turn to him and have hope. I fear that there are so many that turn away and become even more swallowed by the pain. Just wanted to say you’re an encouragement, a good example of following Christ and keeping faith in God. I pray comfort and peace for you and your husband. Oh how glorious heaven will be. Thanks for sharing pictures of your baby, such a cutie!

  6. You do both have some beautiful blue eyes! :) Can't wait to see who Collen looks like!

  7. You don't know me but I pray for you sometimes. Ayden is such a beautiful baby!

  8. He is so adorable...and has the best eyes. I can't imagine how painful it is to look at those photos and not have him in your arms. You made me get teary eyed with the Curious George comment. Thank you for sharing those pics of your adorable son!!

  9. he's beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing your pictures with us.

  10. What awesome pictures. Thanks for sharing. I know I've never met Ayden...but I find it hard to believe he is not here in the flesh. He is such a beautiful baby. I am glad you have new-to-you pictures to cherish for all times.


  11. Oh of your sweet boy just make me well up in tears for you at how much your heart must hurt in missing him. There really is not any strong enough word for just how precious that face is and how I can only imagine you feel.

    Amen...soon, Lord...please....soon.

    Lots of love!

  12. He is beautiful. :) Thank you for sharing.

  13. I have that same dialogue.."this picture was taken 3 days before." I also am so sad that the pictures I have is all I will ever have.
    Then I try to be thankful that I have as many as I do - thank god for digital cameras!

    What a beautiful and happy little boy.

  14. He is too precious for words...