Ayden's Flower

I came across this blog, Say It With Flowers, not long after Ayden went to Heaven. I thought it was such an amazing outreach to families who have lost children. I immediately requested a flower for Ayden. Today, Ayden's flower was emailed to me. I chose a gerber daisy because it was the type of flower, along with sunflowers, we used at his service. I didn't want the typical because Ayden isn't typical. So, we chose vibrant flowers - sunflowers, gerber daisies, anything bright! And I said a big NO to blue flowers....thank God there weren't any. (you know, the fake-looking blue flowers that oftentimes come by the hundreds at services?) I wanted the flowers to reflect Ayden's life - bright, vibrant, a shining light.

If you click on the above link, you will see Ayden's flower along with several others. His is the third flower. I hope to receive the JPEG soon so I can have it printed and framed.

I know I've been kind of absent lately. My mind has been muddled recently, overcome really.... And it has been difficult for me to put all of it into words, so I've remained silent until it all comes together. I'm beginning to make sense of it all, though, so I will be posting soon. I'm not one who writes for the sake of writing. I used to write poetry a lot, but I could never write poems on command (which is why I struggled a lot in English class when it came to the poetry units....). My grandma asked me to write a poem for her after my grandfather died, but she quickly learned that it isn't that easy for me.....it had to come to me....and it did, a month later. Ayden isn't difficult to write about, though, so you won't have to wait a month to hear from me again. Grief is hard to process; it changes minute by minute. I can be smiling and laughing and then the next minute be overcome with emotion. That aspect of it all is what's hard to write about.

Thanks for continuing to join me on my journey - one of ranting, raging, crying, listening, despairing, hoping, wishing, and all out grieving. I'm comforted to know that grief is not of God's design....He desperately wants to take it away. I look forward to the day when sorrow and tears are no more....