Why didn't I think of that?

I've never been good at analogies. I know, I'm an English teacher....I should be a pro at them. They've never been my strength. I received a comment today that completely put into words the out-of-control emotions I felt over the weekend. Perhaps it'll help everyone else understand just how stressful it all is to handle....


I think trying to keep a foot in both worlds, the world before death, and the world after death, can be the most exhausting of all. It is this crazy cyclical loop of feeling bad, other folks feeling awkward and badly, so you feel bad, and wanting to be understood while wishing to be left alone. Like having your nose pressed to the bakery window, you out in the cold, hungry, watching others in the warmth filling up on treats, longing to be part of the experience and knowing it isn't yours to have anylonger. (not true, just how it feels)


I know we are not alone. I know we have friends and family who would be here any hour of the day or night whenever we need them. I know people have not forgotten. But it's hard to fight those feelings sometimes.


God bless those of you who stick with us....especially me and my crazy emotions.


Ayden's marker came in today. The pictures are not of great quality. It was getting dark, and I didn't have my memory card. So my sister took these with her phone. I think it turned out beautifully. I love his sweet, beautiful name.