Domesticity & a favorite Ayden memory...plus pictures!

When I became a mom, something changed. A switch was flipped, and I was no longer the "old" me. However, it remained idle for a little while. When Ayden was born, I decided against nursing. I regret that decision. However, I know why I chose to do formula. I am extremely modest by nature, and I know I would not have felt comfortable. (*Sidenote: we did actually try it....Ayden was not a fan....so that doesn't make me feel SO bad.) We also chose disposable diapers because that's just what you do. Who uses cloth diapers anymore? Well, formula and disposable diapers cost money. If I want to be a stay-at-home mom with a husband who teaches, something's going to have to give. Next time around, I will be a nursing, cloth-diapering mom. It just makes sense. Before we lost Ayden, I had been thinking ahead to when he would start eating solids. I wanted to make his baby food. Domesticity had hit me, and I loved it. I loved the idea of making the food myself instead of buying. What a sense of accomplishment to be able to do that for my child! To know that my efforts led to his nourishment. Sadly, I never got to make baby food for him as I had so looked forward to doing. I did get to feed him rice cereal. He had begun to like it, and I have some cute pictures of it. Since then, I've continued to feel this sense of "domesticity"...to be a homemaker and live simply. Not that you have to use cloth diapers, make your own baby food, or sew clothes in order to be a homemaker, but those are the things I've been drawn to.

He reminds me of my Uncle Joseph here.....those eyes.
It's a coveted Tyson trait, and Ayden and I both share it.

Beautiful, beautiful boy.....

These were taken the Sunday before Ayden went to Heaven. I will always remember this day. I had put him in his highchair, and I went over to the counter to get his cereal. All of a sudden, I heard him laughing...just cackling! I looked over, and I said, "What is so funny over there silly boy?" He was looking down at his bib, and then he looked up....at nothing.....and just laughed and laughed. I've thought long and hard about that moment....and I'm just not sure what I believe about it yet. He would often look away...almost drift off....and then "come back to reality" and look back at me as if had seen someone else. I believe that children, because of their innocence, can see things we can't. I like to think Ayden was often visited by angels and that an angel was making him laugh that day, but I'll never know. All I know is....it is a moment with him I will treasure forever.

Back to domesticity......

Jeremy's birthday is Saturday, so I asked him a few days what kind of cake he wanted. He loves fondant, so he asked for a cake that has fondant on it. Well, those cakes are not cheap. I told him if he wanted that kind of cake, I'd just have to try to make it.

Fondant is not easy....

I have never worked with fondant. Heck, who am I kidding....I've only baked a cake out of a box. If it has clear directions, and I don't have to rely on any kind of instinct, I'm there....I can handle it. So, making a cake with fondant - so not up my alley. But, for Jeremy, I decided to try it.

I found a recipe online. It looked easy enough, so I set out to do it. Tonight, after we got home from Thanksgiving festivities (more on that later....), we went to get the ingredients and hardware needed. Let me just say - it would have been cheaper to pay for a cake. BUT - I now have what I need for future cakes, so it all balances out.

The recipe for the fondant turned out not to be as hard as I thought. It was interesting, though. I don't like to get my hands dirty. This required slathering my hands in Crisco and then using my hands to mix and knead melted marshmallows and powdered sugar. Once that had been constructed into a "dough", I had to knead in food coloring. My fingernails now have a nice purple tint to them. Jeremy is a big ECU fan - he even walked on to the football team and was a member of the team for a year - so I knew purple and "gold" (yellow) would be my primary colors. I couldn't take many pictures because my hands were my tools, but Jeremy pitched in and took some pictures at certain intervals.

In the end, I had much success with my first "from scratch" experience. Tomorrow, I will be making buttercream icing and cake (the cake will be from a box....baby steps....) and let that sit overnight in the fridge. Then, Saturday, I will cover the cake in the fondant and add the finishing touches. I'll try to take pictures along the way and of course of the finished product. I'll just be happy if it's edible.

My next attempt at domesticity: sewing. Details on that journey to come soon....

Fondant Making:

Ingredients:

Crisco (used as a base on the countertop so the fondant doesn't stick)

Powdered Sugar and melted Marshmallows = Fondant

Food coloring

Crisco covered countertop and powdered sugar waiting for the melted marshmallows

Kneading

More kneading...you have to knead for about 8 minutes

My purple fondant!

The yellow!


Purple fingernails....(and me wearing Jeremy's pajama pants)