Some Anger and Some Joy

Before I get to the deep stuff....

Gail Wheeless: See comment in comment section

I went to the State Fair today with my sister and my Dad. We spend a lot of time with our mom, so days just with Daddy have always been special to us. So, every now and then we have a "Daddy day" with Daddy and his girls. We always love Daddy days because the three of us really have a good time together and he is up for whatever we're up for. At the fair, we all like to look at the livestock, so most of our time was spent looking at all the animals. We saw a HUGE rabbit....HUGE, and goats...pigs...peacocks...sheep...very tall horses....prize winning pumpkins, watermelons, squash, potatoes, and dill pickles. We went to a pig race, which was really cute. Enjoyed that a lot. Sadly, I have yet to realize my dream of meeting WRAL weatherman, Mike Maze. Had we gone tomorrow....I could have met him. *sigh* One year....

We left the fair after, of course, sampling some food (hot dogs, chicken pita, pizza - no fried butter for us) and left with a funnel cake, cotton candy, and a candy apple. Oh, and sore legs and feet....I have the blisters to prove the amount of walking we did!


Then, we got home. I was alone in my house, which has not happened much since everything happened....people usually don't let me be alone for very long (at my request usually). I'm not afraid to be alone; it's just comforting when someone else is there. I can have moments when I'm alone that are okay...calm...easy to deal with. Tonight, though, was not one of those nights. After being at the fair and being overloaded with seeing so many babies and families.....I couldn't hold it in anymore. So, I entered into another argument session with God (oh, I'm so glad he can take my arguing). I saw these families....some with 4, 5 children....so happy...enjoying their time together....and here I am, my one and only child...gone. He'll never go to the fair with us; he'll never play on a sports team; he'll never have a birthday party; he'll never have any of what those other parents get to experience....and I will never have it with him. We hope to have many more kids, but that still won't change the fact that we will never experience all of those things with Ayden.

I was angry with God for allowing people who deny him to have happy, successfull lives....lives that never include a tragedy like this. And here we are fully believing in his Word and His love, and He allowed our little boy to be taken away. I don't wish bad things on anyone....it just seems kind of backwards. I told God that I knew I had every reason in the world to turn away from Him right now....and believe me, I've been mad enough to even contemplate it, but....I won't. I will continue to serve Him despite this. Ultimately, He knows better than I do....He knew this would happen to us.....He knew I would react this way and have these kinds of days.....and He also knows when joy will be restored to my life. I sure hope it's soon.....

So, after sitting on the couch for a little while...having my crying session....I decided to look at something in Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven. I wanted to see what he said about children in Heaven. What I read brought me right back into tears, but they were tears of relief and joy. Here is what he wrote:

Isaiah 11:6-9
"the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them....The infant will play near the hole of the cobra, and the young child put his hand into the viper's nest. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain."

The end of sin and the complete righteousness of all Earth's inhabitants won't come until the New Earth. But if Isaiah 11 is speaking of the New Earth, as does its parallel passage in Isaiah 65, who are the infants and young children playing with the animals? Is it possible that children, after they're ressurected on the New Earth, will be at the same level of development as when they died?

If so, these children would presumably be allowed to grow up on the New Earth - a childhood that would be enviable, to say the least! Believing parents, then, would presumably be able to see their children grow up - and likely have a major role in their lives as they do so. This would fit something I'll propose later, that on the New Earth many opportunities lost in this life will be wonderfully restored. Although it's not directly stated and I am therefore speculating, it's possible that parents whose hearts were broken through the death of their children will not only be reunited with them but will also experience the joy of seeing them grow up......in a perfect world.


Oh, I hope it's true. As he said, he's speculating, but if you go by scripture....who would those infants be? They would have to be the ones lost too soon. I wept at the thought of getting my second chance...being able to hold my baby again....to love him and nurture him in a perfect world. How wonderful will that be??? I so look forward to that day and live for that day.