She knows what I need to hear/read...

I really hope she doesn't mind, but my friend, whose words I've posted previously, brought me a little peace today with the message she sent. My hope is that those of you who may also be feeling pain and loss will find comfort in these words as well.

Thank you, friend. I love you.

I must say...I love that there is a butterfly house in the garden. I love that yellow butterflies have found their way to you. Though I'm sure it does not come near to filling...I know they are like whispers from heaven to you. And a happy color that may shine small rays into you. Not that you should be happy about any of this...but that God would make those whispers as close to little sparks of it as possible...and I'm sure Ayden loves to see you smile. Allow me to imagine, maybe God picks him up and points to you so he can see it. Remember again that He knows your emptiness and sorrow and planned for it...planned for the time on your hands. Planned for your heart in its times of perplexity and its times when it seems stronger...and in its times when it feels as though you can't wait another moment to see Ayden...oh every moment I'm sure. The word that comes to me is "knit."

Psalm 139: 1-5, 13-16O Lord, you have searched me and you know me, You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Oh how he knit your heart together...and Jeremy's and then knit them both together. And he took your heart and knit according to the events in your life...and knit into time all the things according to the times of your life and each beat of your heart according to each minute that it would beat in. Time is a mystery to us...but maybe its like the back cloth of a beautiful quilt. He knit which color would make you smile and why, which sounds and music would bring a tear to your eye, which things, whether a sunset or an ocean, would take your breath away. Which young man had the right cut puzzle piece heart to fit in yours.And He knit Ayden...oh so fearfully and carefully and wonderfully in your womb. And his heart, and all his ordained days. He knit those smiles and giggles and glances. Knit them while he was deep within you. And brought them out in their proper times...knitting them into each minute that He wanted you to have them. And how intriguing and wonderful that God would knit a different side of Ayden for each of you.

And He knit him to love those trees as you said. And perhaps...he loves yellow and that's why you get the yellow ones. Ayden is a treasure box. I believe God has things knit in time...for your heart...that you'll know specifically is a comfort for your heart...or a ray...specifically to touch you in the Ayden place. Maybe more than butterflies.And also I know he has knit other wonderful treasures for you. Planned each thread of your heart to encounter each element of life. Each moment. However difficult. And though this sorrow is now a part of you...that was knit too.

1 comment:

  1. That is just beautiful to think about. Thank you for sharing. I know that hearing people are praying for you that you don't even know brings little comfort but I am so grateful to read about your Ayden, I wish it wasn't in this way. I am praying for you and thinking of Ayden.